Overnight

Overnight with client, what is good because it is more money.

However it doesn’t mean charging for the whole period I stayed with him, also because even an overnight shift, of course nobody carry on fucking for 8, 9 ... 10 hours.

It was my third time with him and after a couple of 1h booking he said I should stay and made an offer, which I accepted.

Mr. Bromley is very good in bed because he likes to take his time and allow me to take my time too. Have said that, another highlight of him is his beautifully shaped cock.

He doesn’t have a perfect body and is very close to being overweight (credit to his favourite dish: mash and sausage) but hes penis is something that should be saved and framed for future generations because it is exactly as those we see in books.

As a sex worker I’ve seen all sort of cocks: small, thin, thick, enormous, bending towards left, bending towards right, shaved, hairy, good and disposable. I can guarantee you: Only few of them resemble the ones we imagine when we think of a cock, what is quite funny because even the common imaginary says how a penis should look like, well, in real life I tell you: it is pretty much different!

So to find a perfect one and get paid to ride it is quite an experience!

Bed talking

- What was the biggest one you have to face and work with? – a client asked me another day referring to cocks.

I had to stop for a second and think about because I don’t keep measuring guys all the time.

- It was a guy from Australia, I think.
- How big was that?
- Hummmmm around 10 inches but I didn’t have to sit on it. The guy just liked to be sucked.
- And the one you actually took up the ass?
- I would say 8.5, maximum 9.
- Was that painful?
- No. As far as I can remember the most painful one was a guy with a very fat cock. I don’t think size maters so much. But if it is thick, it can be a hell!

Mr. Clapham laughed and we carried on fucking.

He likes to ask those sorts of things while having sex!.

For him it is a turn on.

I find it unusual and try to keep concentrated in all three of them: client, conversation and sex.

I know they so well.

I don’t know why all the buzz around the confession by Portland's first openly gay mayor that he lied about having sex with a teenager.

Politicians lie all the time and did people really expect Sam Adams to be different just because of his sexual orientation? My ass!.

The fact that he prefers cock rather than pussy doesn’t means a lot.

I know very well this sort of people. I have clients exactly like him, going to the church at Sundays with wife and kids, defending family values on Monday, making a warm speech against prostitution on Tuesday and coming over on Wednesday for some sex.
Do I care? No. They pay.
Would I vote for them? No way.

The only disturbing thing about Sam Adams sex scandal is that he was having fun with an underage staff.
After being confronted about the relationship the politician insisted he did not have sex with the young man until after he turned 18, however this week he apologized for lying — and for asking the young man to lie — and left open the possibility that he could resign if doing so would be in the city's best interests.

Not judging but someone that is a 46 years old public person and thinks that he can be succeeded in a relationship with someone 30 years his junior, well, well, well . . . such immaturity is reason enough to resign and get a bit of time off to grow up!

I don’t think the gay community should stands for him just because he is gay. There are millions of others people that like dicks too, including myself.

I thought before taking one side. However yesterday when it came to light that the gay mayor also hired a reporter to work close to him (and it happened to be the reporter investigating the same case earlier), I just thought: there is no hope for this liar.

Would you give him a second chance?

Mr who?

Client called yesterday and although he said we already made some business almost 1 year ago I just couldn’t recall him at all. That was a bad start but I didn’t say anything.

I know I don’t have to remember everyone who I already slept for free or for money but it is quite embarrassing when someone call you very happy and you have to pretend to know who the hell is that person as the name didn’t ring any bell at all.

So off I went to see him near central London trying to have a clue. It is so much easier when you know who you are going to meet so you can plan yourself, make a random selection of things that you know they will like and avoid other things which didn’t work so well previously.

Certainly he could not be that bad as I use to save the name of bad clients with a TW (time waste) at the end so once they ring I know that a piece of chit bothered to call me again. Could him be calling from a new and different number? The idea of meeting someone who I didn’t like to work with before made thinking of give it up and return even before getting to his house. but I am proud of sticking to my word and If I said that I was coming, I would have to show up at his door step (even if later I would have to make an excuse and walk away from his premises).

Luckily he was Mr. Ex-Hampstead with a new phone too. So It would be impossible to match the new address and the new phone if I didn’t have records of any of them. He didn’t mention anything (I guess he supposed I would recognize his voice of his name). What Mr. Ex-Hampstead doesn’t have an idea is how many phone calls I get a week, some of them from close clients and most of them from people I never heard of.

The good thing about Mr. Ex-Hampstead is that he smells terribly good and in bed it means a lot! It is not about the amount of perfume he uses and about using the right one because people match with different flagrancies and to find the right one can take the whole life.

The bad think about Mr. Ex-Hampstead is that he always asks me to suck him for almost the entire time so after 30 minutes doing it in a row my jaw usually hurts a bit.
He is very good giving oral too and has an amazing technique of how and where stick his tongue so I guess one thing sort of balance the other.

Obama effect

Wow.
Finally Obama gets to the White House today! It seems a century since he got elected.
I hope he will be able to match such high expectations.

Mr. Claridges III cjust alled to postpone his appointment for tomorrow because he wants to watch the first black president of United States assume his post.
If anybody had any doubt about his popularity here we go: incoming president Barack Obama is hitting such new highs in public support that some people prefer to look at him rather than sex!
I had no choice but to re-schedule my client and wait the phone rings with another may not so interested in politics.

This is the third time I will get to see Mr. Claridges. I named him after a hotel where we use to meet if he is in London and although they have so much staff working there, I feel very welcome because they are very professional e don’t ask too many questions.

It is quite uncomfortable when I have to visit a client in a hotel and the receptionist want to know who I am going to see, who I am . . . and some of them look at me as if they could read the reason why I am visiting their guest – even I try hard not to look like a rent boy.

Must be the age difference that gives it away.
When you are 26 visiting a friend up to lets say 36 or 38 it is ok.
When you are instead visiting someone around 55 or 60, well, unless your parents are close friends to that person is very likely that you are going there for money. that is what people must think when they see me arriving at the reception desk and ask where is the room 1234.

So let’s celebrate Obama and, on my next trip to States I may visit the White House. Not for business, of course.

What were they thinking?

In case you still had any doubt about why some people turn out to be gay, the answer may be . . . their toys and those amazing ads!

What the hell were their creators (both: toy and ad) thinking back then?

A cat on my way

Mr. Vauxhall called yesterday.
That was very last minute request but there are people whom we are happy to see, even if the weather is a bit shit as London remains cold and wet!

I think the first time I ever saw Mr. Vauxhall was back in 2007 when I went to give him a massage and he actually just wanted a massage!. Excuse me? Massage? Sometimes I even forget that I know how to do it!

I remember feeling almost insulted for such a thing because 99,9% of times the massage is just a cheap excuse to get together in bed. So when he said I could keep my clothes on after paying me on arrival I thought: ‘he didn’t like me at all’.

However this IT guy turned out to be a very sweet client and I still visit him time to time.
I can not say he is a regular because he usually vanishes for a good couple of months. Then he comes back, book two weeks in a roll and again disappears for a while.

It is a typical behaviour of clients with partners living in separate houses. People say it is a modern concept to keep the flame of relationship and avoid the boring day to day life. Besides that, it is like having a boyfriend forever and keeping all the pressure of a marriage far way.

I think it is bushtit!
Maybe if people can’t bear waking up every day beside someone they love, well . . . they ought to not be together in the first place.
Also, London is fucking expensive and by keeping two different houses with no need you’ve got to cut back other things such as holiday and nights out. Don’t think it is a smart plan but I am happy he still keeps my number and gives me a call, even here and them.

On the way back I found a cat on the bridge and I really wanted to bring it home.
I mean: a real cat. Live. But where the hell could I keep it?
He was so soaked that I thought he may would die with hypothermia so I managed to get him out of the rain, wrapped him with my scarf and left him next to the tube station in a dry place.

I hope someone found him, liked him and took him and my scarf home.

Boy George sentenced

Never too late!

I was reading this morning about the singer Boy George, who was sentenced to 15 months in jail on Friday after being convicted of falsely imprisoning a male escort by handcuffing him to a wall in a London apartment.

And you know what? I loved it. he deserved it so hardly!

Gratuitous violence should always be punished.
It was just appalling the excuse used for former Culture Club lawyer: BBC said that Boy George lawyer accused his client and the escort of being both behaved like "drug-crazed idiots" and that the singer substance abuse problems were a contributing factor. What a bastard! So because you are a fat drug addicted you can get away with everything Mr. Lawyer? Not really.

I had awful clients and every new one is a potential maniac until we get there and finish the job.
Although most of them are very nice people or at least just want a fuck and we are done, I had the abusive ones, the drunk ones, the con ones and the acrobats ones – they are the ones that think escorts are made of rubber and therefore they can stretch our bodies to the maximum and perform the whole Kama Sutra book within 60 minutes!. It is a hard call and after those ones I always wonder why the hell am I still doing it?

Thankfully, they are sour exceptions!

As per Boy George, the sentence should be leven onger and the escort should get a compensation in cash! People can be very sensitive in their pockets.

Bad and good ones

At least London is not so cold this week. Last week I thought that I would turn up at my client’s houses with my ass frozen! I had to put so many layers of clothes on that I was taking almost five minutes extra to get naked for work.

I know it seems nothing but, for those ones paying by hour it means almost 10 per cent of their time. From the minute I arrive and the client opens the door and pay me in advanced I start counting, no matter if he wants only to talk, have a tea, discuss the weather, start with a slow foreplay, have a massage or get their dicks out and have it sucked straight away.

It is a job. And although I try to be as nice as possible . . . time is money.

Eventually we meet those clients whom we quite would like to extend our time with them and I am not talking about a paid overtime. But those ones are very rare and I do not surrender to my desires because at the end of the day, as I said, it is a business and I don’t get free coffee in Starbucks or get offered free burgers at Mac Donalds so there is no point of starting doing that.

And, of course, there are those ones whom we just want to finish and go – and when the time to stop, get dressed and run way comes they still complain that it was too short and I should stay a bit longer.

I am pretty much flexible in terms of negotiation as long I don’t feel someone is trying to get advantage of me. Lots of clients they genuinely think that they can as escorting doesn’t seems a proper job. Fortunately those are not the majority!

It used to be worst when I first stated but luckily recently my clients really want a good time, nothing more, what is great.

I think the weird ones are more and more using the internet to full fill their crazy fantasies – or maybe there are a new group of escorts on the block offering much more than I do and I am not aware of them.

Crunch and beer.

Another very quite day.
Since Monday London had a few companies announcing more redundancies so while everyone seems be worrying if they will have a job or not this year, I have to wait if my phone will ring!.

Barclays Bank, just to name one, said today it planned to cut 2,100 jobs at its retail and commercial banking business.Even the tourists are less this year in London!

The only call I’ve got was from a 36 years old man claiming to be a student and demanding a discount fee, which I thanked but had to turn it down as I am not that desperate yet!

By the way: I was having a big laugh this afternoon while reading news about a Californian man who arranged to sell his 14 years old daughter for 100 cases of beer and got arrested after complaining to the police that his payment failed to appear!.

I hate drunk clients!!!.
They take a awful lot of time to cum, they smell bad, I can’t understand half of what they are saying because their English became a fucking pasta of words and they can be very heavy on top of you as they lose notion of their weight after fell beers and jump on you as someone riding a horse!

Who said I lead an easy life where the money comes even easier?

My mommy said I could

Wood table

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No Threesomes, thanks!

Time to time I get other requests outside the traditional ‘fuck-and-go’ menu.
One of the most usual questions is if I have someone to bring with me.
The clients have this fantasy of having a couple of guys in bed and because threesomes is the sort of hot thing of the moment everyone wants to try at least once in a lifetime. I guess that I probably should have a worker partner by now.

Once I tried and I just hated it!
It is more difficult to control what happens in bed and to make sure that both sides are happy.
Two months later I found out that the escort I invited to visit my client for a three way sex actually was dating him!. What a son of a bitch!.

If there is a very bad move that an escort could do is that: betrayal. Because the clients always end up saying the true later or you find it through another escort anyway. London can be very small sometimes!
And if there is another very bad move that an escort can do is dating a client.
What the hell can you expect from someone which you first met paying for sex?
So I wasn’t any surprised when last December I heard that the same client dumped him after a few months of free sex. It is what happens very often.
The clients start to date the escort and promise a new whole world, which certainly includes giving up the work as a prostitute. Fair enough.

Of course the escort thinks that such a sweet client must be just the gold pot that everyone wants to find at the end of the rainbow and offers endless free fun!.
Eventually, after a few free meals and shopping, the generous guy stops being so generous.
He is not being mean at all. He just realises that is a fucking hard work to forget where he got his new boyfriend from at the first place or to pretend that he doesn’t bother about the fact that one day he will bump into someone that already fucked his partner for business! Welcome to the real world!

And then, one day they fall apart and guess who ends up literally fucked?
Absolutely right! The escort, obviously!

The rich boyfriend will carry on his life with his old friends, trips and previous life style. The escort probably will have very few friends to contact because when people upgrade their life from the streets to a better place, they are not that keen to keep in touch with those ones that may would remind then where they actually came from. It is unbelievable but people do not account that the fact you jumped up 1 step in life doesn’t mean that you may lose everything soon or later.

Work wise the damages are almost irreversible.
The prostitute will have to start from the point zero because few months out of the adult business means that all the clients had gone by now and got another escort to meet their needs!.

So there is no way I will get someone to share my clients again!.
And if one day Mr. Right comes on my way he will have to live with the fact that I won’t get rid of my friends because they work in bed.

I also have no plans of signing any pre-nuptial contract giving up all my rights. This is the sort of thing that only people not expecting to be together in a long term would be looking for.

Gaydar Gun

Stay alive!

Mistress Maddie done very well exemplifying how it looks like having sex with someone that a has pierce down there: it is so distracting for the tongue!!!!!.

There are very few things that make me distracted in bed and it includes people that speak big sentences while fucking!

First I thing that such elaborated grammatical constructions should be left to lawyers or Philosophy’s teachers (if they happen to be working, not exactly in bed).

Secondly - and this is very serious in my case: English is not my mother language and for those ones wondering the true Yes, sex requires a awful lot of concentration, especially if you are having it as a business, with someone that you may never saw before and is very unlikely to meet up again if they are tourists!

So if on top of all that I have to focus on translating big sentences or usual words I find it extremely difficult.

Last year I had a client from the countryside that I had almost to get hold of a dictionary!
The good thing is: because English is not my first language it also makes much easier to understand all the weird accents from people that also don’t have English as their first language.

I have clients from Asia and Cabo Verde, in Africa, whom always contact me if they are in London either for business or leisure because people don’t understand their English and they don’t understand a few people if they speak too fast!

So I guess this is another requirement to keep clients happy: being patient. Some of them even are not after sex in the first place. They want to talk, they need some tips about the city as they are from abroad, they are curious about my job – and eventually they get curious about other things too, including trying new things.

Tomorrow I am going back to see Mr. Oval, a sweet Irish guy in South London. He didn’t have the best of Christmas as he had a little stroke just before the festive season so I was a bit scared. He wasn’t in bed with me when he had it, thanks God! Apparently it was on the tube and people took him to the hospital.

I am not sure if people that just had a stroke can fuck, but he sent me a text message booking it and I am not a doctor or a specialist to say yes or no.
As long he stays alive at the end of our session everything will be fine!.

Pierced cock!

Client from Essex with cock pierced.
I don’t know what the hell drives someone to mutilate their genitals with metal like that. I love my cock and I used it very well (for pleasure and for business) so I never would want it to be tattooed or hanging a pierce! It is too precious to do it.

Of course as soon as I saw his cock with a ring at the head I said straight away that anal would no be available for him. I could suck. I would be happy to fuck him. But my ass definitely would not be taking that thing.

He understood. Not the happiest of the clients, also because he said that his previous relationship started to falls apart since he went to Camden Town and got the shit pierce.
- Do you want to try? He asked.
- No, thanks?

Some clients say I am far too diva for someone that makes a living out of sex.
I don’t mind.

If they want to get those cheaper boys, some of them even offering DP or bareback, I don’t mind .
And I have to say: the vision of a cock with a metal trespassing it is quite scaring!!!

Bursting in to a laugh!

I was with a client today and bursted in to a laugh. A big one!.
The TV was on and they were showing a program about people that are in love with objects and a woman got married to the Eifel Tower, in Paris!

I barely could take my eyes out of the damn TV because I never heard such a crazy thing.
Mr. Euston was also quite shocked and because none of us could turn out attention 100% for the sex it took him almost 1 hour to cum!

He is a very sweet guy that works from home so very often we have sex at times that people never do, such as middle of afternoon or 10.30am before a late breakfast.
I would find very distracting to work from home if I had a normal job, kind of 9-5 because I would be eating or checking the internet all the time.

I was wondering how that woman married to the French monument or the other one that loves a bridge or the one in a relationship with a guillotine find pleasure! I mean: you’ve got to make love, to have sex, even if you don’t do it for a living like I do.

When the program showed those people also collecting models of the object that they love in different sizes I couldn’t laugh less because this must be how they have fun. I bet you that, later in the night, the use the replicas as a large dildo – even the mad one engaged to a wood fence!

Lost socks

So finally I’ve got back to work and just start the year in a bang!
A delicious client with a wide smile and nice hands. I think hands are very important. Before cocks and lips here come the hands and some guys unfortunately forget to make a better use of theirs.

I am not talk about fingering or fisting. Don’t get me wrong. It is about the touch, how guys can handle a situation so well that the sex became a way more productive.

So then I had this client, a guy that called few times before but it never happened. Good clients make me wonder why the hell they’ve got to pay for sex when I think they could easily get it for free somewhere else!.

I saw a picture of him with one of his brother and what a dam hot guy as well. Must be a family thing! It would be great to have both in bed but his brother is not gay – what a shame!
In the end I couldn’t find one of my sock, I have no idea where it went but who cares. I made my way back home with only one of them. Hahahaahaha

He was freaking out because he has a partner – and the partner doesn’t know he has occasional sex of escorts so it would be a big mess to let him finding one of my socks later in bed or around the bedroom. I think we spent about 20 minutes looking for the fucking sock and didn’t find it.

I hope, tonight when he decide to sleep, his partner doesn’t find it by accident and start a big fight.
How to make up something for such a weird situation?

Banned UK Levis ad

Simple life

Just got a few days off till next Monday.
It was good to be working in a row for a couple of weeks so I know I will be fine to keep away from paid sex for a little while. Don’t get me wrong. I love what I do and the money I get for that. However sometimes my work messes up with my day as I don’t have a set time to be working. It means sometimes the whole day waiting just to have a couple of clients calling at the end of the day for a last minute booking. If I knew the day would be that dead, I would be doing something else until the evening.

So I guess my short 3 or 4 days holidays are to sort out things that normal people take for granted and even don’t noticed talking care of: going to the supermarket, visiting a friend and spend a couple of hours talking about funny futile things, clean inside the freezer, reply a couple of e-mails not related to work, cook something a little more elaborated, baking a cake (yes I do it very well, thanks), going to the cinema and doing some shop window too. A very simple life!

Mr. Morden called me to wish Happy New Year yesterday and said that he is looking forward for the summer. He wants to try a new wood bench which he got for the back garden and we will have some fun with it.

Previously we had sex at the garden already, standing up. However because Mr. Morden is much taller than me, he was bending his back all the time and at the and said that it was hurting a bit. He is only 40’s and shouldn’t be complaining about a little pain at the back, but he does anyway.

Once a client wanted to get fucked at a exit stairs of his work at the end of the shift after everyone – including his manager – had gone. I loved it although we never went ahead because they started a refurbishment at the build beside it and unfortunately gone: everybody working at the building under construction could see people going up and down at the staircase so the client suspended the fun to avoid any embarrassment.
- I think we should go ahead with it anyway!
- No Kaio, too risky. I don’t want to find myself in a very awkward situation with lots of people staring at me taking up the ass.
- Well, I don’t think that your work colleagues would be hanging at next door because the building is shot for refurbishments . . .
- That is very true. However there are dozens of guys working there. Better not.
- Ok, that’s a shame because I would not mind to have than watching me. They are usually quite young eastern European builders as far as I know. What could be the wrong with that? If we luck, a couple of them would even want to join us . . .
- Tempting, but not.
I am still waiting for Mr. Morden. Hope I didn’t scare him with my straight forward ideas!.

Gay cartoon!