Fisting?

- Do you do fisting? – A client asked yesterday night?
- Even if I am the one wanting to be fisted?
- No.

He then rang the phone without even saying ‘thanks’.

I know, I know, I probably should be a little more open minded sometimes because one of the reasons of hiring an escort is exactly that: to be able to realize a few fantasies which your partner may would not be that pleased to get into.

However there are a few things that I find hard to do and shoving my hand (and arm) down in someone’s butt whole is not my idea of fun at all.

What is the point of such a painful sexual fetishe?

Mad farewell

Hey Czechout, thanks for the question and yes, I read a lot and I also listen to lots of music because, as you may know, I use lots of public transport in London, sometimes it can take up to 1 hour to reach a client’s house so the best way to cope with so much time trapped inside buses and tubes is by reading and listening to music.

I am reading at moment a book called ‘The little friend’, by Donna Tart. It is quite nice.
I have a awful habit of reading several things at the same time, sort of: a magazine, a book, a newspaper, a bit of each on my journey, is a bit mad but it works for me.

Speaking about madness.... I had one of those Crazy clients last Monday.
They guy was pissed because he lost his job and he decided that a good farewell would be having an escort . . . at his work!

I didn’t know it until I get to the front door of the building and be shocked that it was a commercial place, with lots of offices. However I had those quick lunch times before where the client barely puts down his trousers and you are not supposed to get naked neither because at any time someone can turns up.

The guy said he would like to mess up the place as much as possible, just to start with!
- What do you mean?
- Lets fuck over there (point out a expensive leather sofa) and also lets cum on this table.
- What?
- Don’t worry. Lets give them a hard time!

He was visibly going mad.
People should think twice after leaving a job because one day you have to face those people again and it will be a problem if you messed so much on your way out.

I thought of saying something like that to him, only to get back to my real place. I am paid to give him pleasure, not advices!

We fucked everywhere. There was a moment that the phone rang and he just took it off the hook. I was imagining the other person at the other end of the phone trying to understand what the hell was going on, those noises, etc. I would love to call someone and instead of speaking to someone to have the phone put off the hook, on the table, while someone had fun.
When we finished, she thanked with a chick smile and said that he would keep in touch.

The picket people

Guess who is coming to England? The picket people!
That small and noise religious community from Kansas notorious for picketing funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq will be in UK next week to protest.

Westboro Baptist Church is led by Rev Fred Phelps and among the events on the 'picket schedule' there is an activity in Basingstoke.

Hope they don't find about my blog or my job. I would be bad to have them with those picketing outise the hotels where I've got clients to attend.

The website is called www.godhatesfags.com. I much more prefer to read Perez Hilton.

Valentine's fuck!

I am back after 1 week without writing a thing. I missed it as much as I miss sunny days and sex, I am serious!

No excuse for the absence.
Just an awful lot of things to sort out (every other day something breaks at my house: toaster, TV, shower) and those things can be a nightmare to fix.
Besides it is quite expensive to hire plumbers in London and as they are all straight polish guys barely speaking English it so hard to try to negotiate a deal and pay in services (read: sex) hahahahaa.

So yes, my bank account has gone down a bit.
It was the wrong combination: money going out with plumbers and no money coming in because I had to stay at the home until they finish the work and I don’t think it would be nice to have clients around either. What to say to the poor worker if a client rings the bell? Something like: I am going to have a quick fuck for cash while you fix my pipes and shower? Hummm better not.

However this weekend things started to get back to normal.
Mr. Gloucester called and we had a great couple of hours with wine and chocolates. It was his Valentine’s day threat and I liked it a lot.
It was the only client I had for the whole Saturday. I wonder where all the others gay single guys gone yesterday?

Dancing and farting!

The snow has gone and the rain came back.

London’s weather always finds a way to piss of the people and yesterday I arrived soaked at a client’s house.

I don’t know of any other city where you can have all four seasons in the same day so I left home with a scarf and no umbrella only to find out 20 minutes later that actually a storm was coming on my way. Let’s rain!.

Luckily it was a regular client back in London so I didn’t have any major problem. It can be slightly embarrassing to see a client for the first time and get there looking like a wet duck that just came out from a swimming pool! My hair as looking shit. My clothes heavily wet. Even my shoes were fucked.

The good side of it is: sex warms you up so basically after the whole rain I was getting paid to keep warm. I used all the available towels to dry everything as much as I could (that is actually the good thing about attending clients in a hotel because you can use stuff and leave it to someone else take care of).

Mr. Toronto is so funny that he should be paid to make people laugh. Even in bed sometimes I can’t hold myself because he makes hilarious voices and squeaky noises.

Eventually he will even dance and farts, all together. And he is also audacious and try new positions.

As most of times I have to play by the book and always fuck at the same required positions it is a bit of fresh air someone that knows how to explore beyond the dog style.

Who wouldn’t love to have fun with someone that creative?

Wake up doll !

Overheard inside a toilet in a straight bar last week:

- No, no. I am not gay. I am only top.

It came from a bulk guy with tight t-shirt having a pee and talking to his friend doing the same beside him. I was about to say: wake up doll!

Well I didn’t of course. But I should have done.

Gaydar sponsoring a short

Gaydar shag website has sponsored a short film about modern relationships in the UK.

‘Academic’ is written and directed by award-winning James Martin Charlton, whose past subject matter has controversially ranged from William Blake and the Bible, to moral degeneracy and paedophilia.

as anything is just by chance in this world, the sponsorship of 'Academic' coincides with the new video profile features on the Gaydar website, which allow members to post clips of themselves as well as photos.

Gaydar.co.uk will exclusively stream the trailer in the run-up to the film festival season, with character profiles and video teasers.
This marks the first time profiles on Gaydar have been branded or use fictional characters that members can interact with.

Gay flag

London has many problems, including heavy snow, increasing of violence over the past 5 years and a fucking credit crunch that already made around 150.000 people redundant. Despite all that the polemic yesterday was around a rainbow flag raised outside a Police station!.

Shocking!
New Scotland Yard Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson has ordered a gay pride flag hanging outside a police station to be removed and for the original Union flag to be reinstated.
Sir Paul, who was appointed last week to the top job in the London Metropolitan Police, was said to have been outraged when told that the gay emblem had been raised outside the station in Limehouse.
It replaced the Union flag and was put up by officers in recognition of Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Month celebrated in February.

I have clients working for the Police and I can say that London has the most tolerant people working at public services. I’ve been to other European cities and believe me they hate gays, especially those ones working within the police. So I was quite surprised for such a fuss towards a flag.

Yesterday I had a funny client asking me to take pictures of him with a snow man at his backyard. So after a quick fuck that last no more than 10 minutes I spent half a hour working as a 'photographer' hahaha even though I barelly now how to use a camera.

It would be just an innocent sweet picture if he wasn’t naked! It was great, even more because he used a black dildo to give a penis to the snowman. It was the first time I saw a snowman with a black cock. Actually it was the first time I saw a snowman with a cock at all!

I asked him for a picture of him with his creative snowman but unfortunately he refused saying his snowman was a shy boy!

Bad timer

Another busy weekend with few clients in a row.
Overall it went fine, most of them end up going for the very basic suck-fuck-suck-cum as if all of them were part of a secret society where man should suck-fuck-suck-cum. It is a cake recipe!

The only surprise was Mr. Canada, a blonde short guy with quite a nice cock and attitude. He wanted to have some fun in the bath and it was great I have to say.

We finish in bed, of course because there is no place better than bed to have sex. I know a few people dying to fuck outdoors or any other place but a bedroom. I have nothing against it however I still fancy a nice comfortable set of white sheets, a couple of pillow and lots of creativity!

The only thing I didn’t like about Mr. Canada was his lack of timer. I made it clear I didn’t want him to cum while I was sucking him or neither on my face.

The bastard ended up splashing a lot of a thick cum all over my face and hair.

It is disgusting!.

There are a few things that don’t go well at all and I think that get covered in sperm when you still have a long day ahead it is just dirty. This is one of the things I have to put up with with a smile even I want o kill the guy!

He apologizes and said it wouldn’t happen again.
I had a shower and went off.

However I always have the feeling I missed some drops of cum in my hair or face when something like that happens and I have to get the public transport shortly afterwards.

It is just paranoia, I guess as I never had been stopped on the streets nor had a finger appointed to me saying ‘look that guy. He is covered in cum!’

Mr Canada certainly has another dysfunction besides the very bad timing with his own cock: he has an awful amount of cum for an average man! I wonder what the hell he eats or drink to produce it because it is quite funny!
Another client of mine is exactly the other way around: he makes such a big effort for get off a couple of drops of cum that I feel sorry about him. You can see his disappointment, a sort of frustration for being that dry but I am really fine with it.