Melting Duvets

Sunny docklands

2010-06-03T13:26:00.002+01:00

Uhhh sunny day - and a client done already!
I love discovering bright London on my way to get to work (which can be anywhere actually).
I went to Docklands this morning, nice Canadian guy in a Hotel, gentle sex, lots of talking and a dark funny sense of humor - it would be so great if have of the guys I have to put up with were like that.

On the way back I bought some new condoms and lube, sttoped by Sainsbury (yes, escorts also do boring house shopping) and just got a call from a regular one to attend later today - the guy with big thumbs, did I say something about him here already? Well, it is good, no complaints.

A very expensive rent

2010-05-30T10:47:00.002+01:00

I don’t talk a lot about politics because:

1) I don’t know much about it

2) I have a couple of clients that are into politics and I don’t think it is fair to expose people that pay well for what they want (especially if I am the one they are paying for).

I think this must be an amazing job when you are a secretary or a MP because it seems to me that basically you seat, read, drink coffee and talk a lot, all of that sponsored by the public money.

Eventually they will have the ‘hard work’ of voting to decide something very very important such as the change of the name of a street, a new way of tax people or so.

My friend Jay, the funniest female escort I know, said that power is like a bug. People get it and rapidly get contaminated and start to think with their arse instead of their brains.

Of course Jay called yesterday to confirm her theory:
-I told you Kaio. Those dickheads are pretty stupid. Who the hell would do such a thing and just take for granted that nobody would ever find out?

Jay was talking about the David Laws case, the London chief secretary of the Treasury that claimed up to £950 a month for eight years to rent rooms in two properties owned by his partner.

The fact that nobody knew that he was gay didn’t help much neither.

-Jay, but he seemed kind of a nice guy - I said to wind her up.
-Nice my ass, Kaio! That is my money. My money!
-Well I can’t say the same because I barely pay taxes.
-Yes but you are a student. And anyway: where the fuck is that room, so expensive!?
-Buckingham Palace or nearby? - I joked

We had to laugh over the phone.
Not because of the scandal, the high rent or anything else.
But on how creative politicians can be. And how greedy and stupid too.

I don’t know how much was his salary but I am pretty sure David Laws is a retard for risking his career for just £40.000
Honestly! if you are going to steal, do it properly, something worthy.

Now that he no longer have a job (the politician resigned), maybe Laws will consider moving to a more modest area, maybe Croydon or Brixton where rooms for rent are cheaper.

Jay added:
-Absolutely! And better yet. He will do it with his money, not the public funds. It was about time for that bastard be caught and stop paying his boyfriend with my taxes.
-Indeed, Jay. If someone is to get paid here ... it should be us.
-Oh my GGGGGGooD. I have a client calling on the other line. Have to pick up that call. Talk soon.

Jay rocks!

Another ash cloud!

2010-05-22T09:15:00.000+01:00

There are a few business that rely on flights and airports working properly in order to keep going. Trading flowers, travel agencies, hotels, etc. And the sex industry, of course. I had so many cancelations over the past four weeks due the air space closure that I lost the account of it.

Many of my clients are guys visiting London for business, away for their wives, religion rules or family – I think they feel a bit like a teenager when the parents go on holiday and they are left behind with the whole house and a scaring exciting freedom.

They work hard, it is true. But they also drink, party and fuck a lot when working abroad.

So after the storm everything was starting to fall back in black but now BA’s staff has announced a big strike. I can predict lots of disruption at the UK airports – and those disruptions will again disrupt my job.

That is what happens when you don’t have a normal 9 to 5 office job. When you are self employed even the weather or someone else fighting for a pay rise or better working conditions can affect you income.

But I hope I don’t have to go back to work at the ‘House’. it was pretty depressing to be setting in a very small back room with other 8 (sometimes up to 12) boys waiting the clients to turn up and pick up one of us. And to be in constant state of fear, without knowing who would be the next client or if the police would arrive first and arrest everyone for prostitution.

I will keep my fingers crossed to keep the volcano and BA both very calm and very reasonable.
People need to travel. Travellers need to fuck. And I need to pay my rent.

Safe ports?

2010-03-30T18:25:00.001+01:00

I hate get to place soaked but with this weather in London you are actually lucky if you ever manage to arrive on time.
And ‘be on time’ time is something people demand a lot when you get paid per hour of fuck. Yes, I meant to write it because more and more I am realizing how people act differently when it comes to sex. If you have someone coming over to visit you it is very unlike that you will be watching the clock every other minute. But apparently when people get ready to have fun, their mind sort of set to a specific time and when things happen (tube delays, bad traffic due road works, etc), clients can get a bit nasty.
I think partly it is because most of people paying for sex also have a parallel life, usually with someone that represents a safe port but not exactly up to everything in bed.

It is important to have those ‘safe ports’ I guess but in order to keep sane, people have a bit of extra fun. I wouldn’t call it an affair. It is just fun. Paid fun. And because those people eventually have to go back to their safe port they want to make sure they will be on time so the other half won’t think they are fucking (or getting fucked) by someone else.
Last night a small stormed made London as chaotic as possible through the rush hour and a client complaint about my 15 minutes delays.

I still think 15 minutes can’t be considerate a delay – as well because I make up for it at the end anyway – but he said that dinner was going to be served at 7.30pm and he should be at home by this time because his wife would be very upset for cocking the whole evening and have to wait for him.

I thought of telling him that it wasn’t my fault if London transport are crap, that his wife set the dinner time too early and that he set the fuck too late as we could have done it lunch time with less hassle. But I let it go and gave him a very good time – to make up for the delay and also to tempt him to keep the habit of ‘eating’ out.

As my friend Daniel would say:
‘some people have someone else to cook for them but the best things to eat come just raw’

Holland Park

2010-03-20T11:42:00.001Z

Sunny days, sunny days.
Honestly it was about time to the sun come out in London. Yesterday I went to work in Holland Park. I love the area, the big houses and even those poor old ladies with 300 plastic surgeries walking with their dogs and having tea at 3pm.

They usually have big sunglasses, tons of jewellery and lipstick as an extension of their lips.
I saw one talking on the phone, loudly, explaining to someone that she was tired of walking with Blair and she was heading back to get someone to look after the dog because she was already 15 minutes late for her appointment with a manicure.

As I passed by, playing with the dog that jumped happily towards my bag the lady looked at me with a puzzled face of curiosity. It think it is an achievement for people with so much botox still manage to have facial expressions.

I think the dog could smell my bag and track the smell of my strawberry flavoured condoms. Dogs love them. Once a client had to call a vet because the dog got one from under the bed and ate it!
I bet the lady wondered what a young man would be doing at this time walking down the road. At this time the average people are a) working, b) studying, c) at home applying for a job or wanking.
The most fortunate, able to pay, ones do it with a bit of help and call me so that is why I was wondering in Holland Park, 3pm. We could say I was on my way to work.

The guy was extremely clean, one of those that smell hospital sanitizer and wear impeccable white socks. His house had air purifier everywhere and those little hand gel wash in every top of furniture what made the lounge looks like a messy pharmacy. I like it, I mean: clean clients, but

I can avoiding thinking that it is also a bit weird someone so obsessed with germs and bacteria.
On my way back, just 45 minutes later, the lady was still on the phone while the dog was having a croissant. I had to stop and look back again.

There is nothing wrong with dogs eating croissants.
I just found amusing that he was doing it on the table, from a nice expensive square plate and a big bowl of some dark liquid that I suppose was tea or coffee.
I wanted to get a picture. I wanted to ask what was inside the bowl. But I didn't.

No one seemed to care.
In Holland Park, even dogs get lucky.

Back, back and back!

2010-02-18T19:57:00.002Z

Hi,
Just back from a ,long holiday (and I had problems with the blog password).

But everything is sorted now and I will be posting this week, about holidays, sex, adventures and those rather than special customers.

Hidden messages

2010-02-03T16:53:00.000Z

Good starting of the day. Defying a boring raining day in London I managed to have a Very sweet client with an elastic tongue.
I was laughing from start to end because he was very fn was and it was nice but weird to have paid sex with someone that cool. Usually we are more used to have people lie that around us when they are close friends or relatives.

He didn’t take long to come but until get to this bit it was a long way of starts, liking, sticking his tongue up any possible hole he eventually could find so it was a bit ticklish as well I have to say.
From there, with a short break only for a shower, I went to see my regular American client visiting UK. He was totally dry as his wife has been way since Christmas so I have to look after him with double care and was on my knees for a long time.

I like his smell of fresh plastic wrapping paper, those with a few bubbles and used to pack fragile items. It reminds me of new things like a gift you’ve just got. I also quite like his cock because it is not so long but it is quite thick so it doesn’t take long to get me screaming and moaning while riding it.

As I watch my image reflected on the mirror and having my bum ferociously penetrated by his cock I wonder how I am lucky to get paid to do something that average people do for free (if they are fortunate enough to have someone with such a huge tool to fuck them!)
-Are you ok? He asks me after cuming and slowly taking his dick of my ass.
-Yes, very well! I answer with a wide smile trying not to spread my legs too much in case some lube its still inside me. Sometimes remains of a running lube pops out as soon as the guy takes his penis off my bum and a warm little brown line runs down my legs.

Not today. I check the sheets and they are fine. I check my anus and there is nothing wet to be afraid of. I even glance his cock to make sure everything is clean but he doesn’t acknowledge it.
-Cool! – he says with a thick accent and getting a towel around his hips before entering to the toilet and friendly shouting at me to close the door behind me once I leave the flat.

The translation for that is straight forward: get out as soon as you can as we are done here dude.
Ok, sir. I got your message.
And off I went.

Gay ad refused

2010-01-31T10:30:00.000Z

An ad from ManCrunch.com, an American dating site for men, has already been rejected by the network showing the Super Bowl.
Apparently the ad showing two men sitting on a sofa watching a football game (and kissing after touch their hands inside a bow of chips) was not within the Network's Broadcast Standards for Super Bowl Sunday.
Hummm I liked the ad ....

Possibly 'new tricks'

2010-01-18T22:48:00.000Z

My neck a bit stiff today after a client on Sunday that demanded lots of very difficult positions. No standard fun with him. But hold my body on the floor, legs up in the air while he was standing up to fuck me was a bit of a heavy call. Don't get me wrong. he was great and his cock just the right size – what for me means: not so small to let me wondering and not so big to hurt my asshole because I have no intention of damaging my work tool.

He was sweating like a pig and it lasted a good 45 minutes until he finally shot his warm cum over my chest from where he was standing.
-Wow, that was a good one, kid! – He said after finishing and starting to get ready.
-I am glad you enjoyed.
-I will be in town next week as well. do you want to come over again?
-Yes, sure, I can do.
-Cool. I will teach you a few new tricks.

Dying to find out about those possibly 'new tricks'.

Something to talk about

2010-01-14T14:06:00.003Z

Local police forces have ranked as some of the UK’s most gay-friendly employers, according to a new equality index by the homosexual campaign group Stonewall.

The top 20 gay-friendly employers also include five councils, three Government agencies and two Whitehall departments.

The campaign group’s equality index reveals that five police forces are ranked among the top 20 gay-friendly employers with a further six forces placed in the top 50.

Hampshire Constabulary is ranked as the most gay-friendly police force in the country coming in second place overall.

Around the country there have been a number of heavy-handed police investigations against Christians, sparked by complaints to the police of ‘homophobia’.

Last year Pauline Howe, a 67-year-old Christian grandmother, wrote to her local council objecting to abuse she suffered while handing out Christian literature at a homosexual carnival.
She was later visited by police officers who said that her letter may be treated as a “hate incident”.

Sex + car = problem

2009-12-30T15:02:00.000Z

After a drunken client over the weekend, where when he wasn’t sleeping on my sofa the conversation was something like:
- Do you close your eyes when clients are cumming on your face?
- Clients don’t cum on my face.
- Even by accident? I mean: while you sucking then they jerk off before the time/
- No.

So after that my week started almost following the same path: a Chinese guy wanted to have sex inside his car.
- Don’t you have a place? – I asked over the phone when he called.
- Yes, I do. I am actually in a hotel but, you know what? There is nothing life that feeling of doing something wrong.

I know that feeling so well, but I didn’t tell him. Sometimes is just better to listen to what clients have to say, request or suggest. It has worked amazingly so far.
- It doesn’t have to be anywhere dodge. I have a rented car at the car park. We could well fuck there I think?
- Really?

I was wondering if he was talking seriously or taking the piss. I was also imaging the traffic, cars going in and out of the car park and looking at us. Some people like to be watched. For me it isn’t good because if the porters find out why I am visiting the hotel in the first place I won’t be welcomed back, either for the same client or a new one. We all know that, honestly, they know what I am doing there but as long it is not so explicit like fucking their guests at their car parks they are OK with it. At the end of the day I provide entertainment, and sex as an entertainment rarely is available on hotel’s menus.

Eventually we drove to a park nearby.
With such a bad weather, the risk of a policeman bother to check us was next to none.
But sometimes, just sometimes, the police decide to work .....
(to be continued)

Busy Sunday!

2009-12-28T11:12:00.002Z

Busy Sunday with a couple of last minute clients. I even didn’t expect to be working because I thought that lots of people (including those ones that pay for sex) would be travelling. It turned out that not everyone went away this year and as it is quite boring to stay at home by yourself when your mates got something better to do, why not some fun?

My first client was just after the lunch, a thirty something IT engineer from Glasgow that was working in London on Christmas day and decided to extend his staying in the city. Who would think that executives work on holidays? I even didn’t know that the offices would be open but, apparently, even when 95% of the world is celebrating there are people working around the clock to make sure that everything will run smoothly. It make sense as more people are out, spending money, using computers, etc so, of course, someone would have to look after IT, banks, mobile networks and etc.

He was very cold, almost didn’t speak, however new exactly what he wanted: a very strong blowjob and some anal sex dog style, both ways.

I gave him my 10min ecstasy head job (the secret is to start the blowjob from the crack sack and move upwards). By the time I got to his cock head he was almost cumming and asked me to stop for a few seconds.

The sex bit went very well. He didn’t asked me to try any position but stay still while being fucked and the same thing when it was his turn to get some cock up his arse, a very firm and nice bum I have to say. He didn’t cum until 45 minutes later and literally used every minute paid so I guess this is what people call value for money!

- Did you work on Christmas day? – he asked on the way out with that tone of voice that actually means: have you been fucking even on the day Jesus was born? But at least he was talking to me.
- No, I took a couple of days off. Just started again.
- Ah, Ok. Happy New year, then - he said opening the door to leave and with no sign that he believed or hear what I answered.

2 hours later the second and last client of the day rang the bell. He brought a bottle of Rosé wine and an opened bag of prawn crackers ‘it was a left over from last night, if you don’t mind’, he said already drunk.

Drunk clients usually talk a lot and it was an incredible surprise when he gone very quite. I was in the kitchen, looking for a bottle opener when suddenly everything went very silent.

On my way back I found him sleeping on my sofa with his trousers around his ankles.
(to be continued)

New Year on the way!

2009-12-26T10:45:00.000Z

Hi everyone,
Just to with a great 2010! An amazing one with lots of fun, healthy, sex, all the lot!
I tried to post a Merry Christmas message yesterday and it didn’t work. I guess half of the world was tried to do the same. So Happy Christmas a bit late then.

I normally don’t work for a couple of days around Christmas; I think we have to take a little break from time to time.
But I will carry on writing so bear with me.
Happy New Year!!!

Mr. cold fingers!

2009-12-20T10:20:00.000Z

The worst thing about going to work with this London weather is to get to a place and being greeted by clients with cold hands. Of course I am not talking about the odd shaking hands but those ones that love to stick a cold finger in your ass. It is not nice, at all.

Yesterday I had a busy Saturday, going back and forward from Central to East and then from East to Central and west London too. It wouldn’t be that bad if we didn’t had so many delays but, well, we can’t expect public services to work properly when the weather changes.

I honestly think we started with the wrong foot because even before saying hello the client complained straight away that I was 6 minutes later. Shit! Only 6 minutes!

For those ones not familiar to England, don’t start thinking that here everything is sharp on time.
Bulshit!
British have that reputation of being very good with time and lots of them are indeed, specially the old generation, but there are delays everywhere and people always have something to blame: the snow, the rain, the tube, the road works for the 2012 Olympic games, the police stopping you for a quick searching as it has been increased due the terrorist attacks 4 years ago and a lot of teenage gangs fighting recently.

There is always an excuse. I was so fed up after a journey full of disruptions that I even didn’t bother to give him an excuse, I just politely said sorry – even thought in my head I was thinking of saying more something like: 6 fucking minutes? I had problems with the transport you son of a bitch!. Instead it was more like: ‘Oh, I am sorry about that. But I am here now and it is nice to meet you’.

The guy, a 50 something with a very short neck and fat nose, wasn’t that bad in bed, a part from the fingers issue as he constantly insisted of using his fingers down my anus. I distracted him with an intense blowjob and less than half an hour later I was back the tube. It still felt cold and dump but, at least, I got rid of Mr. Cold Fingers and kept my bum warm!

Levi Johnston strikes

2009-12-17T11:25:00.000Z

It is not new but I loved this Levi Jonhston picture for Playgirl.
By the way: when is he shooting for a gay magazine then?

Counting differently

2009-12-16T11:22:00.002Z

A friend of mine said another day that I should change my blog's profile picture to something more 'SEXY'. He was, of course, talking about my picture holding a condom so I was very happy to see recently a comment left about the picture!.

Let's get this straight: the blog never intended to be a 'sexy' tool.

Of course it end up being a bit hotter than your average recipe blog but it is more down to my work than to anything else. I don't sit down to write thinking: wow, I have to make people get a hard on today!.

I use condom at work and extend it to my private life too because we never know who are we fucking with. Working as an escort I already saw a couple of people get infected and one of them died last Easter. It kind of reinforces how things can change just in a second!

I remember once when the condom broke while having sex with a client. I was sick just with the thought of getting a disease, any of them, even didn't have to be HIV. Everything was fine to start with and then suddenly it split. I left the hotel straight to a clinic near Victoria. London has quite a few clinic for sexual diseases and some of them are specialize in attending gays, what I think is very helpful because there are a few people not really comfortable to walk in a straight place.

As any client would say, he was very sorry for the accident and said that I should not worry because he was straight and married. What a bushtit!!!!!. People still think like that and it worries me that his wife have sex with him without knowing how many other people he is fucking and how many of them had a condom broken or didn't have a condom at all!

Everything turned out ok. I have all exams I could possibly have and it became a habit to visit the clinic regularly to get the answer with a negative result. When you work selling sex, every check up can be a rollercoaster. Actually every day, especially when we visit a new client, travel to a different part of the town. I just relax when I get back home and I know I am safe. We never know who will be the dodge client of the day, who may shout at you or ask for thinks you normally wouldn't do or, even worst: who will hit you.

So I guess I count time differently and the picture of the condom will remain where it is right now!

When 3 can be good!

2009-12-03T17:08:00.003Z

Loved this e-mail and decided to share with you guys:

'i came across your blog and find it amazing, and i see you are posting recently as well. i was hoping you could give a little advice. i'm 34yo living in US and ive been in a relationship with a wonderful guy but my imagination is much wilder than my actions. sex with him is great but very vanilla.

after reading your blog quite a long while, it made me wonder if i should rent someone to help me act out some fantasies. i searched online and found several extremely attractive escorts near me. i'd be looking for someone who would handcuff, tie, maybe blindfold me, and use me roughly (licking, sucking, taking his cock).what would u recommend in my case? pursue it with my bf? look into "renting"? just keep it as a private jerk-off fantasy?keep up the great work on your blog, i will be coming back to read more about your exploits.

j'.

Hi J,
Thanks for dropping by and for the lovely e-mail.
I asked you permission to post my answer because I get asked similar questions quite often so I thought I could be of more help sharing it with more people.

I am not very good in just keep things as a fantasy.

Life is too short and, until proven contrary, we just live once. So having said that I think you should rent and share an escort with your BF.
Maybe, by watching a professional, he will get some inspiration and ideas for both of you!.

I think also it is good for him to see what turn you on nowadays.

People change every single day (actually people change right now as you read my blog) so it doesn’t come as any surprise that after 6 years you feel like exploring new sensations. Why not?

Be very careful about who you rent for those sort of service.

If you BF get excited and also decides to try the same ‘especial’ treatment (handcuff, tie, maybe blindfold) take it in turns to avoid giving too much power to the escort.

Ideally you should try him first and then, on a second visit, have something more extreme to make sure who you are dealing with.

But risk some good moments.

I’ve noticed that couples get more liberal and open minded when they have something like a threesome or bondage time to time.

If you manage to convince your long term partner, initially it will work as sorting out a fantasy but you will notice that your boyfriend will feel less shy to try more edgier things in bed.
Have a fucking-tastic day!

'Anti-gay' cleric talk cancelled

2009-11-28T13:21:00.001Z

Diversity my ass!
The University College London Union (UCLU) has cancelled a talk by an Islamic preacher who allegedly endorses killing homosexuals.

Abu Usamah, recorded by Channel 4 saying gay people should be "thrown off a mountain", was due at UCLU next week however a university spokeswoman said that the institution has decided to cancel this event due to concerns that the health and safety criteria cannot be met. I am not surprised.

In 2007, the Channel 4 programme Undercover Mosque recorded Mr Usamah referring to gay people as "dogs". This man clearly has a problem with anyone that enjoys cock!.

Mariah and client visitng the same place

2009-11-27T16:45:00.002Z

A few days ago I went to Westfield, the only proper big mall in Central London, without knowing that they had a special event to switch the Christmas light on.

I noticed that something was going on as soon as I left the tube station because it was too busy for a cold November day. Mariah Carey was there, reportedly to light up the place.

And among thousands of people (maybe 70% of them teenagers in pink outfits) I saw a client with 3 kids. He was dressed to work, the boring black suit and blue tie that everyone else has.

I think he works in a state agent because once we were in bed and he had to stop in order to return a call about a flat in Battersea that was being sold. Never mind.

No matter how many times I see clients on the streets I never get used to be cold and not look at them. It is quite hard not to say ‘hi’, special the nice ones or the ones that are very polite or the ones that you know more about their private lives.

I was just across the escalator when he suddenly winked at me once the kids looked away trying to get a glimpse of the American singer.

This is very unusual!!!.

Clients would prefer to have a purple giant elephant sitting on their head rather than make any contact to an escort in public. And I couldn’t help feeling like someone that is doing something naughty. I felt even more awkward when I saw his wife coming back from God knows where carrying lots of colourful bags, one of them from a very cheap shop for grannies so no wonder why he needs a bit of action outside home.

The kids seemed amazing. I was looking at them for a while and they were the only to behave like adults. And they were very well dressed too so I supposed they had family plans for late that night.

I had my laundry to sort out instead, and to call one of my friends to check where her birthday party will be held.

And Ops!, my phone rang but nobody hear it, only me because of the vibrating mode. I couldn’t recognize the number and let it go to the mail box.

I didn’t think it would go well to get a work call inside of a packed shopping center. If it was a regular client I could do it with no problem as they are very likely to ask those first callers question: price, if I suck, cock’s size, about toys, if I accommodate, how is my bum, etc.
Not a suitable chat to have over the phone when you are sharing a mall with Mariah Carey – although, with so many screaming people, I don’t think she would hear me anyway.
Just in case, just in case …

Christmas has started for me

2009-11-26T18:03:00.001Z

The weather remains cold and it has been a bonus because apparently everyone is trying to keep their bums and cocks well warmed up - with my help sometimes, thank you very much!

I had 6 clients in less than 2 days and, although it can be a bit tiring at the end of the day, it is very good to have money coming on my way because Christmas is next month and we all want a extra cash for all those extra shopping, dont we?.

I don’t know how an average person working in a office or so manage to go through the festive season! Everything is so expensive and everyone expect a little gift, especially kids!

One of my divorced clients bought a Wii fit to his 12 years old son and asked me to keep it safe.

He is divorced and the kid comes once a week to his flat.
Apparently he is one of those hyper curious children that open all doors and draws every time he visits his dad so he would find the gift far before Santa even think of get around the block.
My client asked what I want for Christmas and I said that he doesn’t have to worry about it. I thought of asking a Iphone because I fell like I am done with my old old old Blackberry but it would sound very greed and, besides it all, he doesn’t own me anything.

He is a nice bloke that like his Mark and Spenser trousers and comes regularly for a relaxing time. And pay for it. And that’s all. No expectations beyond that, but yes it was very nice of him to offer to buy me something.

I have to get a day off and buy some cards to send. Family. Friends.
I never sent any to a client. Sometimes I get some tip on the weeks before Christmas, even those British clients not used to tip an escort.
I guess it isn’t a British couture to tip for any service because they don’t tip at bars or restaurants either.

Gay comic Magazine in UK

2009-11-18T13:48:00.000Z

Not sure how relevant it maybe be, but it is always fun to know that a new Brighton based magazine called Spandex has gone on sale, featuring this gang of homosexual heroes.
Hummm sounds another commercial catch!
The team will do battle against villains with names including Muscle Mary, Pussy and the Pink Ninjas and the first series sees the Spandex crime fighters defend their hometown from the 'Attack of the 50-Foot Lesbian'.
Wow. To know more, visit: http://www.spandexcomic.com/

Back to see Mr. Brompton

2009-11-17T13:20:00.000Z

I went to see Mr. Brompton after a long while. Some clients are like that: they vanish. You start to think: have I done something wrong? Did something bad happen to them? But one day they just text you, simply and with no fuss or long explanations, asking if you can come over. Just like this, as if you just fucked them last weekend!.
- Long time no see you boy! – he greeted me opening the door and wearing just a tiny thong.

I though to myself: it wasn’t my fault. I am always available. But sometimes is better not to say anything. We never know the reasons why a client took sometime off without request a volatile sex like sex. It could be so many reasons such as money problems or even illness, death of someone close and we don’t want to go there, to embarrass people. The ultimate idea of someone paying to someone else to turn up at their door steps and perform a very good one hour of hot activity is to have fun. There is no point of spoiling it any other way then.
- Yes! I agree. It sounds like ages, but glad to see you! Did you change your hair cut as I can see! Did you loose weight as well? – I replied already shifting the conversation and letting him free to not talk about his absence if he didn’t want to.

It is always good to give a client the option of sharing something with you – or not, what actually happens often. They have their lives, a sort of parallel world, and I am not welcome there. I realized it very very early doing what I do. Although sex is a basic need people don’t feel comfortable to admit that they have to pay for it.

Mr. Brompton didn’t mention anything about the long absence. Instead we carried on talking about his new hair style, a short dark black spiked with some red colour as well, what reminded me of Sharon Osborne, that woman that used to be a judge at a TV show.
- Yes, I did change my hair. Did you like it?

I wasn’t not sure if I liked it. Certainly it was different and, at the age of 60 I don’t know if Mr. Brompton would look better with his usual gray hair. However the colour cocktail seemed a bit too much and by looking like Ozzy Osborne’s wife he was also similar to an old lady that had a couple of extra bottox to keep them forever bellow their real age mark – what I guess can be anything between 80 to 95 years old.
Should I say to him exactly this? Certainly not!
- It looks Ok, I amended getting naked once we reached the bedroom.
- Oh, and Yes, I lost a couple of pounds. I have a personal trainer now. And guess what? He is amazing and he is not gay!

Before I forget ...

2009-10-31T13:35:00.000Z

The first centre dedicated to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) visitors started operating in London this week.

The Gay Tourist Office opened in the city's Soho district yesterday to provide visitors with LGBT-specific information about the capital.

Not sure what it will add because the others information centres are very good in giving information about the gay side of the city.

That's what a call teacher!

2009-10-30T13:32:00.000Z

Sam Handley, that hype delicious PE teacher who was suspended from Harvey Grammar School in Folkestone in September when explicit photographs of him intended for a gay porn site were circulated by pupils decided to resign.
.
According to the Sun (what a source, I know but …), he was unaware that the link to the porn website had spread around the school via Facebook and mobile phones and turned up for lessons as usual, before being sent home by the deputy head teacher.

I think he is definitely hot!
And more: he will get lots of contracts because he didn’t do anything wrong for my standards – a part from the fact that he didn’t call me.

If someone knows the cute, let him know that I’ve got a special rate for hot teachers recently resigned.
It is my humanitarian side calling.

3 hours NON stop!

2009-10-28T14:25:00.000Z

Oh GOD, I have to visit NYC more often. Well, let me rephrase it: I may have to visit some of my readers in NYC at some point because that Christopher that left a message at my previous post is cute!

Last night I had a greedy client and what was supposed to be a standard 1h fucking turn out in a long and nice 3hs session.
No complains, no complains, although after the non stop minute 75 and half I was more like: what the hell this guy is taking to have such stamina?

He was a guy from the countryside, British for a change! I don’t have a lot of guys coming to my bed from England. As I live here I would expect more of those but I still get more visits from tourists or guys just working for a while in London.

How weird.
Britain is so liberal when it comes to gay sex, even so you don’t see lots of guys walking down the road very close and I don’t know where those ones getting married go for leisure because I don’t see many couples in West End. Maybe, there is a secret limbo where those people hide from the rest of the world – so they don’t risk losing their partners!

After cuming twice, the 3 hours client said that he was moving to South Africa and left his e-mail inviting me to visit early next year, when he sets down, get a place and confirm his job transference.
- It is not a job invitation, Kaio. I am inviting you for a holiday. You won’t spend a penny though.

I found it very sweet of him – especially given the circumstances as we had just met 3 hours ago and spoke only the essential through out our three hours in bed!
- I will think about it. - I thanked, keeping his card safely.

I never close doors because we never know what comes around the corner.

Answers and comments

2009-09-21T10:59:00.000+01:00

Just taking the chance (and spare time) to answer a few questions left from readers:

Miss Ginger: yes, I am a good boy and still attending the school (also helps the fact that, by doing it, I have a valid English Visa so I can study, travel and fuck as much as I want. It is funny that, technically I can work 20 hours a week but, hold on, how to measure it in sex? Hahaha. I am studying media and thinking of going towards marketing in the future as one day I will have to stop charging people in bed and start to make money in a different way.

Zac: so you are in London every 3 weeks? Hummm those naughty Irish boys! Hope you get a great job now that you graduate! And don’t forget me, of course!

Stevo: indeed, I vanish time to time. I go though phases. Some months I get inspired and write a lot. Some periods I just find so boring to sit in from a computer and try to organise facts and try to make sense. Remember: I am not a writer and English inst my first language so sometimes I find difficult to keep the blog up to date. But I never give up! Keep watching this space!

Mistress Maddie: OMG! What did you do with the slave that you won at the Roman Toga party?

Brad: how is Sidney those days and all those hot guys? Can you send me a dozen of the by FEDEX?

LOVE YOU ALL!
Kaio
xx

Bursting the economy

2009-09-20T10:41:00.002+01:00

It has been raining so much at night times in London that my blog is almost changing from Melting Duvets to Raining Duvets. I’ve been getting wet most of the times that I have to go to work!

However it is difficult to avoid night visits as, a part from tourists and married ones, all the other clients usually work the whole day long and need a bit of a relief after office hours (which in London are sort of 9-5 ish).

Last week one of those ‘happy-hours’ client asked if it would cost less for him to have a ‘quick-fix’ daytime instead.
I found it funny to hear the term ‘quick-fix’ because it sounded like a drug addicted getting a fix. But sex can be addictive too, I suppose.

For those ones interested to know, there are only a slightly increase of costs, usually the cab fees, as during the day it is much easier to visit clients using the public transport. The traffic is very bad in London but the tube system works pretty well if compared to a few other big cities around the word – and it is almost impossible to get lost because the signs are clear and colourful (each line has a different colour and ends in a different route).

I don’t get people asking for bargain a lot these days and, although I don’t think the credit crunch its over just yet, people are starting to spend a little more, to shopping and to have paid sex, what is very good because all together we kind of burst the economy: A pays for a fuck. B (that is me) shops with the money. C doesn’t lose his job because B (its me again!) is still spending money at the shop owned by A that, well, you know ... paid for the fuck that keep the cycle going on, with yet a little help of A’s wife that is also spending a little of his money shopping somewhere else!

12 years old?

2009-09-19T11:13:00.000+01:00

I loved this bit if news: a twelve year is boy from is set to become one of the worlds youngest transsexuals after a controversial decision by the parents allowing him to return from the summer holidays as a girl!.

Although I am very happy with the way I born (even thought I have sex with boys and girls) it is kind of amazing how things seems so easier nowadays! 12 years old? I even didn’t know what I was going to be when I was that young. I probably new that I liked cock and pussies already but not to the point to make such an important decision.

In the UK, there is estimated to be around 15,000 ‘trans’ people who self-identify as the opposite gender from the physical body they were born with and around a third of them have surgery to change their bodies to be the opposite sex.

As per the boy, as you would expect, the British parents of other pupils didn’t like the idea of having their kids confronted by such a hot piece of news. Local news reported that they were very disappointed that the school even didn’t bother to send a letter informing them of the new girl arriving.

School break!

2009-08-13T08:39:00.002+01:00

Running less for the next couple of weeks as it is my school break. Finally. Something in this life seems to last forever. School are one of them!
Yes, for those ones who forgot, besides fucking for a living I still go to school just like any other good boy.

I thought that I would be working more because it is summer season in UK and we have lots of tourists (mainly Asians and hot Americans) visiting London.
However I am working far less than last year.

Last week I had 3 clients, yes three, what is something like 1 client every two days (not a big business if it remains like that!).
Luckily they were good ones so (good personality and 1 of them hot as hell in bed!) so I didn’t fell like if I was missing much for the involuntary reduction of work and lack of sex.

Last night I went to see a client near Heathrow.
Long journey on Piccadilly line to 1 hours dealing with a guy as expressive as a brick.
I couldn’t tell if he was enjoying it or not because his facial expression was the same though the whole fuck session. Shit!

I felt uncomfortable because I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing.
But he didn’t complain so I guess he was OK.
He is one of those tall and slim guys from Middle East, with a long beard and I bet you that he doesn’t do anything like that back to his country. And by 'anything like that' I mean: taking up the ass as I was TOP this time.

That is the good thing London.
In one visit you can do anything, even have sex with a Brazilian on your way to the airport!.
Have a nice journey.

Back back back!

2009-07-24T14:44:00.000+01:00

Hi everyone!
Sorry 1 month with no posts. I was working less and with a lot of time to re-think a few things in life. And it is good to do it quietly.

Back now with all batteries recharged after a couple of weeks in Australia with a Canadian client. It was great a part from the fact that it is a fucking long journey! I didn’t charge him so much because I really wanted to get to know Australia and places like those we can not visit over a weekend so I was very friendly with my fees and we agreed that I would have a few hours per day to do my own things (which of course included to fuck a few other guys for leisure, not work. I have to remember to write about the guy with pierced balls, remind me people!).

The Canadian guy is an older client. He comes to London 3 times a year and always gives me a call. Very organized, clean, fun and a big overweight but who cares as long he is happy?

I don’t understand much those weight patrol freaks always telling you what to eat! They are sad people living by a fucking scale! My best clients are the ones that you never would see their pictures in a magazine or turn you head on the streets to look at them. Even though they are good in bed, know what to do and are genuine people.

Today’s post will be short. I have a client soon and it is raining a lot so I better set off soon because London + rain = Long delays on public transport!

Working tools

2009-06-16T13:54:00.000+01:00

Sun shining and phone ringing. I can’t complain, even yesterday I had a very boring client whom idea of fun was to try to slap my bum every 5 seconds. I don’t mind a little one here and them. However when it becomes constant I feel very annoyed. Besides that I can not allow people to leave big marks on my body because it can put other clients off (and losing money is never a good thing).

The guys from the UNI called again suggesting us to repeat the threesome. I politely had to refuse. I didn’t play nasty, just said I was busy and they got the message. Also there was no reason to be rude because they just asked – and it would be up to me to say yes or not. As people say: asking you nit make any harm.

On my way back, already quite late, my mobile rang again with yet another client. This one wanted to know if I was up to a DP (double penetration).
I said ‘no thank you’.
I don’t understand those escorts keen to have as many cocks as they can get up in the ass and risking to damaging it permanently.

A ballerina has legs as a working tool. Doctors have their hands and singers their voices. I have to look after my cock and bum because those are the ones responsible for my income.

Charity - part 2

2009-06-03T09:29:00.000+01:00

I like adventures.
The slightly safe ones so it is why I don’t do drugs or bareback.

Once I got to the boys address I wasn’t surprised to find out that, actually, it was a proper campus.

I was surprised to learn how weak is the security of those places and people can almost walk in and out without any sort of identification. I guess it is what people call freedom!

The guy that phoned me was the handsome one.

The birthday mate was OK but not impressive.
Bad teeth, bad haircut.
Some people just manage to stop on time and still have that weird Bill Gate look, what for me is funny and scary at the same time because I always wondered if those nerds actually know how to fuck properly. They do!.

The nerd one was actually much better than the cute one – and had a bigger tool as well!
- Have you ever done it before? – I asked.
- You mean: with guys? No. – the cute one answered.
- But we already shared the same girl and tried a double on her – the nerd amended.
- Cool, see you some time.

I don’t think I will be going back there.
It was one of those experiences that are nice and you do not regret neither have plans to repeat.
Let see my next charitable move.

Charity - Part 01

2009-05-30T08:20:00.000+01:00

I’ve been a good boy this week.
I didn’t over charged clients for a fuck, I didn’t complain to my landlord about the heater, I didn’t swear (well maybe a couple of times, but only for good reasons) and I even did some charity too!

A student called asking for my fees as he wanted to surprise his university mate as it was his birthday and they are about to finish lessons within 10 days (and just back in September).

He said that he couldn’t afford it. I didn’t feel sorry and that was it.

Then he sent a photo of him with his friend using my e-mail here, from the blog, and saying that he could pay £60.

Two 22 years old handsome hunks from the rugby team? Hummmmmm Of course I didn’t take him seriously.
It was too good to be true. So instead of charging I replied back: use the money to send a cab to pick me up at 7pm and texted my address. So I carried on doing my things and forgot about it.

Guess what? 6.45pm the car parked on my door steps!
(to be continued)

Changing banks

2009-05-24T10:41:00.002+01:00

Wow. I’ve got a watch as a gift from a client!
And I don’t think I did anything special at all.
It was great because currently you are more likely to get clients asking you for a generous discount – not really giving you extra stuff.

He was a guy from Australian attending an event in London.
And wow, how good they are in Bed! A non-stop guy!. However a gentle non-stop guy so you don’t feel tired and keep the fun going on and on!

Oh, and I got a letter from HSBC bank inviting me to upgrade a account! Hahahahahaah! The account was closed 5 mounths ago!

I went there last year and when I told them that I was a student (all escorts are eternal students until proven contrary) they turned me away saying I wasn’t eligible for an upgrade.

I found it very annoying because I never asked for any extra benefits, or favours or loans and I have my own money.

It is not because I don’t have a 9-5 job that I should be left behind with a fucking basic account!.

It was last Christmas and I decided not to swallow that.
I spoke to a manager, a lovely black woman in a suit 3 times smaller than her size. She could barely breathe or neither answers my questions. She said in the end.

- Darling, I am sorry. Those are the rules. I know you have money and you never go overdraft. But there is nothing that can be done unless you can prove you income. If besides your studies in London you have a part time job or work as a freelancer, try to getter a letter from your employer and bring it to me that I will take care of it.

Cool. Can you imagine asking my clients to give a reference to the bank?
The letter would look something as nice as that: ‘Yes, I can confirm I know that person, we fucked recently.’.

So I literally crossed the road and walked in to the first bank I saw, a old Barclays agency.
A Indian guy with spiked hair came to me and I fired away: I would like to bank some saving with you.
- Welcome. Which sort of account would you be looking to open with us?
- An account better than my actual bank, just across the road.
- Are you banking with HSBC?
- Yes, here are my recent statements. Would have something better to offer me or should I stay over there?

Do I have to say that I’ve got an account 3 times better, check books, special card, credit card and even a personal manager?
And he didn’t ask for any letter at all!.

National Condom Week

2009-05-18T09:20:00.002+01:00

So today starts the National Condom Week in UK?.

I don’t know why they have to set a specific period for that. Do people in UK only fuck once a year through the period of 18th to 24th of May? Did the organizers manage to communicate it for the public?

Not really sure.

Even when I went to Google to try to find out if anything interesting was happening, one of the 3 first results is a article for the Independent Newspaper (written back in 1993!).

I use condom everyday due my work and, honestly, that is something the health departments have to tackle more effectively ON A DAILY BASIS!

People would be surprised by the amount of clients I have asking for bareback, people that never met me before and suddenly we meet and they pop the question:
- Do you do BB?
- No, sorry.
- Even if I pay extra?.
- No.

Some of them even get angry for the refusal. Most of the guys asking for bareback are not the ones 100% gays. They are the ‘Bi-married’ ones, the most dangerous specimens on earth (and the most selfish as well). How they dare to leave the wives at home, escape for a fuck and risk doing it without protection? Certainly if they want to fuck strangers (me) without protection they are not bothered to use protection at home with their partners either.

Lots of money are spent on those campaigns for events like that Condom week’ I don’t think it work if you just remind people once in a while about the benefits of using condoms.
Besides that, let be honest: fucking an ass (the passage for dirty things you body doesn’t process) without protection its a mess. And so is having someone cumming inside you bum.
It is not sexy for me.

Not complaining but ....

2009-05-13T19:40:00.000+01:00

The weather is starting to change again and today was a bit gray.

I had a client near the airport, Heathrow, and we had a great time at his friend’s house.
I sucked so much that my jaw is still hurting however it is not a complain! It always happens when I get a think cock to work on.

Not that that really keen on the entire saliva thing but most of client quite like to see you chocking with their tools while you look up at them through the whole activity.

It never made sense to me but I am not the one paying, I am the one getting paid so I guess a little of glances up wont hurt.

Luckily he didn’t mention to penetrate me with that ‘Red Bull can’. That is how I named the guys with abnormal cocks. Funy enough most of them are passive and this is not a complain neither!

Hot Nicklas Bendtner

2009-05-10T08:17:00.000+01:00

Look how nice is that football player: ARSENAL striker Nicklas Bendtner was caught with his pants down leaving Boujis nightclub, in London.

Nicklas is only 21 years old and, last Wednesday, he headed home after a night out at the South Kensington club with his jeans falling to his knees and showing off his designer underwear.

Does anyone have any doubt that he was having a great time even I wasn’t there to suck him off?

If some reader of my blog manage to meet the hottie player, please tell him that I have nice pants as well, just in case he would like to see me with or without it!

Hot priest

2009-05-09T08:07:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I was on my way to a client in South London, a regular one, easy guy to please, easy money to make, when I saw a newspaper with a photo of a priest nicknamed ‘Father Oprah’ (above).

He was removed from his church, in Miami, after pictures of him and a mysterious woman in a beach were published.

His real name is Alberto Cutie and I think he is fucking hot!

I hope it is not a sin to imagine a priest naked because actually it was just what I’ve done on all my way to work so once I got there I was hard enough to get straight to bed.

He could easily be a actor. Or even better: a porn actor! Don't you think?

I don’t understand why people working in churches have to vow celibacy.

The Catholic Church certainly would have far less scandals if their fathers could get married.

It would avoid also so many of them being caught abusing young boys!

At least some of them break the vow (well done Cutie!).

Others do it too but a bit more discreetly.

I have a father once coming for a hot session, a big round man with funny fat little fingers and he couldn’t stop speaking!

He would talk about his hot 16 years old neighbour flashing his pants over the fence a couple of summers ago, the milk man that wasn’t sure if he still loved his wife because he was fucking her best friend from high school and even about others people confessions.

The priest confessed a few of them to me while I gave him a blowjob.

He said the best ones (that would make him very horny) were especially when the people confessing were young troubled boys unsecure of their sexuality and fearing that thinking of a school friend all the time could be a sin – probability because the thoughts certainly involved the school friend being naked and banged hard inside a classroom after biology lessons!

Father Oprah: if you get tired of that beach and whatever bitch you are having fun at and with, give me a call !

London is beautiful and my bed can be as hot as Miami :)

Soaked in sperm again!

2009-05-08T08:06:00.000+01:00

Weird client last afternoon, which came to me through another regular one.

He didn’t want to get naked, even thought he had quite a nice body and he didn’t want me naked neither.

So basically he asked me to put my trousers half way down my knees and bend over.
I even didn’t have to take my shoes or T-shirt off!

It was nice for a start but as the guy took a while to cum I was getting seriously tired of being bending and fucked for over 20 minutes without changing positions.

Eventually he announced that he was close to shoot and asked me to get down my knees and suck his cock for a while.

What a relief! Finally changing positions!
I was a bit worried of him cumming over my clothes because I didn’t want to get back inside the tube or bus covered in sperm.

Just because I thought of it as a possibility too much it actually happened and was a big mess.
I think that guy didn’t cum for the past 5 years because it was, honestly, litres of a very thick liquid.

I wouldn’t believe it if I saw it on a film or photo!!!.
I was soaked in sperm: neck, shoulders, chin, face, all over the place. When I went to the toilet I found cum even inside my T-shirt front pocket!

He ‘generously’ gave one of his shirt (3 or 4 sizes bigger than mine but at least it was clean) and from now on I will always have one in my bag, just in case.

I already have spare socks and pants with me all time because sometimes I lose them or clients ask to buy it (I never understood why people would fancy someone’s used pants), but there are so many fetishists in this life so I guess this is not one of the worst ones.

Answering a good question

2009-05-07T08:52:00.001+01:00

I quite liked the question bellow left this morning:
‘I always wonder how do you know how much you are worth? and when do u lower or increase your rate? Would you decrease your rate every year as you are older?’ Zac.

The price table is a crossing of time spent to get to the client’s house (if they come to mine it is cheaper) + what he wants (full service? Massage? Overnight?) and time to time I check some online websites to see what others escorts are charging.
This is more to keep up to date.
Prices usually do not increase and if they go down on price I still remain charging the same also because the regular clients know my price and know I worth every cent asked for a good fuck!

And no, I have no plans of charging less once I get older.
I may charge even more because at least in London there is no option for clients looking for mature escorts. You see ads with guys up to 35 years old and that is it. However I think there are a public for proper man, not twinks.

And we have to remember that there is a new type of client: those young rich gay guys, around 30’s and still too young to pay for a toyboy but who knows they may fancy a hot man to give them a real good time?

I think my youngster client so far was a 24 years old Indian guy about to get married to a girl. It was his first time and he was up to try a bit of everything. An absolute adorable client. My oldest one? Hum probably around 75 years old and still fucking like a horse – it wasn’t an easy money to earn!

Client delayed

2009-05-06T10:15:00.001+01:00

Wow,
What about that: client arrives later to my place and asks for a discount!

Even better: the reason of his delay was another escort!

What a fuck is that?
Yes, he booked someone else, he didn’t like it and decided to have another go.
So basically I was a replacement for his unsuccessful previous fuck.

- Sorry, dear. No discounts today. You can stay a bit longer if you want.
- I can’t. Have to go back to work. I am on my lunch break.
- Are you? So let stop speaking and get down to the business! Active or passive?

He liked the way straight forward and we had a great time – and I got my full fees!

It is funny.
People don’t go to Macys, Selfridges or even Mac Donalds asking them to knock down their prices. Why should I?

P.s.: Hey Maureen, thanks for disagreeing because it helps to see other sides of the same of story. And I kind of see your point of view, however the aiming wasn’t women or the actress.

And Mad: tell me more about that Boy Toy of yours! Where is he from? And are we going to have his picture here to share with our readers?

Giving up cocks?

2009-05-04T09:37:00.001+01:00

Did you read that?
Kelly McGillis, the actress from Top Gun, say that she is ‘done with the man thing’.

Poor lady!
At 51 years old I bet you she didn’t try half of the cocks I’ve faced and is already giving up?

Apparently she is a lesbian and I say apparently because, you know, artists change their sexual option as they change their hair style so I won’t be any surprised if she turns into a men eater without a few months.

I think it was a publicity shot.
She was forgotten, long 20 years ago with only a big movie to decorate her CV and now she bothered to tell the world that she likes pussy?
Would she do the same if she were on the big screen or heading a hot TV series right now?

Through the interview to SheWired, a site announcing themselves as the “the go-to site for women: lesbian, gay, bi, queer, trans, straight but curious and otherwise identified”, McGillis said that identifying her orientation had been a “hard process and that life is a freaking journey,”.

Not sure if the ‘freak’ had anything to do with pint sized Tom Cruise but certainly he didn’t help a thing about her coming to terms with her sexuality.

I have my days when I just want to sit in front of a TV doing nothing (even sex!) but I don’t think I will ever get done with guys because I really enjoy fucking – and not only as a matter of work because I also have fun outside the paid business of escorting in London.

How not to enjoy a hot ride with a big cock up in your ass or eating a tight arse with the guy’s legs up in the air?

From Claridges to Brixton

2009-04-30T23:16:00.000+01:00

I can safely say that, in my life, one day is never like the other.
When the client in Brixton called saying that he was about to go back to Austria and still had a few pounds that he would like to spend on me I managed to get to the station in southwest London as far as I could.

It was the second time I saw him within a year and he was fitter than previously.

The only thing I don’t like is that he takes ages to cum !
Why can’t people just have fun and go? Hahhh

By the way: from a comment left here I learned that a research showed Irish guys shoot cum fast than their English or Welsh friends.
Really?
Who would have thought of that?
And who would have thought of measuring the speed of cum?

Back to Claridges

2009-04-29T07:24:00.002+01:00

Last night I saw an old friend that used to escort, got married to a client and left the job for a housewife life style. Although I am terrible happy for him (almost to the point of jealousy because his partner is very very rich) he didn’t seem that happy.

I guess it is typically that thing that everyone says: money doesn’t bring happiness.

I felt sorry for him because he is young still but in a few years time he may will realize that he spent precious years of his life with someone that didn’t worth doing it so.

I was on my way to a client at Claridges Hotel.

The receptionists are sweet, the concierge is boring and always look at me as if I was going there to steal something, but I’ve noticed he does it to other people too so I didn’t feel bad at all.

The gay wanted to fuck without lube and, no matter how small a penis can be I don’t do that because it is very uncomfortable.

He understood also the risks of a condom breaking and at the end was pleased with what he got.
He was quite experienced doing different positions and not afraid of trying new ones so it was rather interesting!

Yes. Money doesn’t bring happiness. A good fuck does!

P.s: thanks sweet guy in Ireland. Are you Irish? I had a few Irish guys in bed (most of them on my days off, not sex work related) and they are quite good. And NO, I don’t reject being fucked by a hard thick dicked guy if he knows what he is doing.

The sun arrived!

2009-04-28T09:02:00.002+01:00

SUN,SUN, SUN.
London looks so much beautiful under a blue sky!

I am having a very good week with a couple of nice clients, a few gifts and a little shop around because with such a good weather I refuse to stay at home waiting for my phone to start ring more constantly ( I bet part of the clients are also out and about enjoying the sunshine!).

What have you done interesting lately?

P.s: the guy in the picture is an authentic Brazilian Product called Marcelo! I would do him hapilly!

Credit crunch my ass!

2009-04-21T09:16:00.003+01:00

It always make me sick when I read the news about those redundancies, people losing jobs (I have a couple of clients that had their salaries reduced to half and they were asked to stay at home), and all that fuss around the economical situation of UK because, honestly, there is no such a thing (at least not at the horrendous proportion which companies want to portrait it in order to panic the whole society).

And today’s economical revelation just helps to confirm my theory: the British supermarket chain Tesco has reported underlying annual pre-tax profits of £3.13bn, an improvement of 10% on the previous year.

What? Yes darling, you read correctly!!!. Pop the champagne!
Its sales topped £1bn a week for the first time with group sales coming in at £59.4bn.

It is a lot of money and it will be difficult to bet that because even if I escort for the next 60 years, 7 days a week, attending 10 clients a day and charging £150 each I would still be just around £3m (not £3bn)!

And of course it is a silly calculation because I don’t have 10 clients a day (My arsehole would be a tunnel), I don’t work 7 days a week (I would go mad in this business) and lets face it: in 60 years time I will be 86 years old (who the hell would pay to fuck that?).

Tesco is only one of the companies daring to reveal numbers that swim against what companies want you to know.

I am sure many other companies are hiding results to avoid having to explain why they are cutting wages or, even worst: getting rid of so many people with families to feed and escorts to pay (pleasure is a very essential investment in a so crazy world in order to keep you sane).

So I’ve printed the report about the successful supermarket chain, from Yahoo.com, and I will keep it in hand as an inspiration and also to reply to those clients trying to bargain for my services.

If they blame the economy one more time for being without money for a fuck, I will suggest them to go away and to get a job at Tescos.

No rupees, please

2009-04-20T11:27:00.001+01:00

No matter how nice we try there are always people a bit rude on the way.
Last night a client got hysterical, in Holborn, because I refused to be paid in rupees (I am not sure if the spelling is right but he was from one of those Arabic cities with a strange name).
I haven’t got a clue how much it worth let alone if it even did worth something so I wasn’t able to convert into pounds.

I don’t mind to have sex in dollars because it is a very standard currency and I have quite a few American clients and don’t expect them always to have a few spare pounds for a fuck.

- Would you mind to go to a cash point and get some pounds notes? – I asked politely.
- Yes, I would mind because you are not respecting my money!
- But I am not familiarized with your money and I would not know where to exchange it – holding on being polite. When you are an escort you have to make an effort.
- That should be your problem Kaio, because you live here I am only visiting.
- It is true. And as a visitor you should be using the local currency.

The guy, a dark skin average man in his 40’s and a disgusting long beard just, threw the money on the table, in the middle of the hotel’s room and said:
- Take it or leave it!
- Well, I think I will leave then. I am not that desperate. Thanks – and started to get ready to make my way back home. Even my dirty laundry to be sorted out was more exciting that such a nasty client!

Usually I take quite a lot from rude clients but for everything there is a limit and my limit was that!.

Bad behavior or that thing of clients throwing the money on you to show that they are paying for your time and your cock can be very romantic and acceptable in movies - especially if it is Richard Gere doing that. 15 years ago he could get away with it because he was hot and Julia Roberts would fuck him even for free in Pretty Woman.

However when you have someone that remind you more of Osama Bin laden rather a hot Richard Gere it is kind of a favor being turned down.

When I was about to leave for good he ‘miraculously’ found exactly £150 and I had to get down to the business.
Luckily he was passive and was very pleased to be fucked from behind for the whole time so I didn’t have to be facing him for long.
- Thanks, bye. - He said after cumming almost throwing me out of the bed and rushing to the toilet.

By the time he came out from there, I was two blocks away from the hotel.

Deal meal

2009-04-17T17:28:00.002+01:00

Deliciously Australian hunk Matthew Mitcham says gay status cost him sponsorship!

He managed to upstage Tom Daley to win the 10-metre platform gold medal at the Beijing Olympics, however also believes that his decision to talk openly about being gay may have prevented him from cashing in on his success.

Humm I have no idea if he could be right. We like gay man in London, especially if they are as hot as Mitcham is.

But don’t you worry Matthew.
You may lost a sponsor but I have a deal: In a gesture of good will, if you around London anytime send me an email and I will give you a 100% discount fee for a couple of hours.

I think it is very important to support athletes, if you know what I mean?

My competitor

2009-04-16T09:06:00.000+01:00

It may explain why some days I don’t get to fuck a single client and end up my shift pocket empted: One in three men would prefer to play video games than enjoy sex with their other halves, shocking new research revealed a few days ago.

Hummm I think those Xboxes are also keeping a few customers out of my bed!And nearly three quarters of blokes said they would give up the chance of a romp with their partners to play a brand new game!.

What is wrong with the guys recently?

However the reasons men gave for choosing to bash their buttons rather than opt for naughty frolics ranged from partners “being hard to please” to “not being as much fun”. So there is something to be glad at least for me!

Specialist PlayStation3 site www.PS3pricecompare.co.uk questioned 1,130 men who were in relationships for the study.When asked “Which would you prefer; sex with your partner or an evening playing video games?”, 32 per cent of men said they would prefer to play video games!.

So I will carry on delivering my high standards services because as the survey shows, the guys are not getting at home what they would like to.

It is not my fault.
People says I am dangerous for relationships.
I disagree. I am not the one knocking on their doors or ringing them. I am only offering a service, a little escape for those ones a bit feed up with their boring daily life and wanting to spicy it up a bit!.

Some opt for a Xbox.
The clever ones chose my duvet!

Naked men wanted

2009-04-15T08:07:00.000+01:00

I loved that headline at QX magazine last week, just before Easter.
Although I initially thought it was something related to the weekend and the possibility of naked men around Hampstead Park (yes, boys do that in London, ask George Michael), actually it turned out to be a serious invitation as award winning UK director Phil Willmott is auditioning some new talent alongside more established performers to sing naked!

The report says that he would like to hear from people who may not usually be seen for a high profile Off-West End show.

The rehearsal commitment is short and once the show is up and running it may well be possible for participants to return to a 9 – 5 job whilst also appearing in this professional production of Naked Boys Singing 2009 in the evening. Plus, there’ll also be a small fee (it was not specified if the fee would be bigger if the guy has a bigger ‘talent’).

It will feature six naked guys and if you think you’ve got balls for that (balls and voice, please, because you really have to sing!) and also if you happens to have a great body that you enjoy showing off why not send an email + photo to producer Danielle Tarento at info@kingsheadtheatre.org
Good luck!

F**king men extended

2009-04-14T07:50:00.004+01:00

Sometimes I do have a day off, and usually I get tired of being lazy and look forward to work the next day.

Because I don’t have a set time to start (or finish) my work, I don’t feel like ‘working’ properly, also because sometimes I make money without leaving my home so, even on duty I don’t feel the clock pressure what I think its why people hate having to get to work 9 – 5pm in London.

Probably my next day off will be to see a theatre play called F**king Men and which everyone is talking about it.

The play is set in today's US and is a portrait of 10 men searching for love, sex and intimacy by looking at a succession of couples and strangers as they negotiate the before and after of lust, love and betrayal and the pursuit of sex. Sounds good already!

As plays usually happens night time (a busy time when you work in the sex industry!) I will have to miss a ‘work’ day for that!

For those ones in London and wanting to know more about the play (that is the longest running play off West End), see bellow more information from Time Out Magazine:

Venue: The Kings Head Theatre 115 Upper Street, London N1

Dates and Times: till June/09, Tuesday - sat at 10pm

Tickets: from £15

Box Office: 0844 412 2953 or info@kingsheadtheatre.org

Calm Easter

2009-04-13T23:38:00.001+01:00

Wow a sunny day in London after a raining weekend!
It wasn’t one of the busiest holidays I have to say however holidays are not that good anyway because even regular clients use to have families and friends coming over for lunch and dinner and it is very unlikely any of them will be keen to share the fact they pay for sex.

I had a guy from States that came to meet his online date. They were chatting since Christmas and when they met face to face to face they didn’t hit even as a friend.
So he decided to turn to a escort to avoid ruining the whole weekend.

I’ve done my best, but nowadays I don’t get impressed easily by clients because they always have such unbelievable cases to tell.
I had even a guy asking a discount because he had spent almost all his money on his mother funeral and now he was broke and horny and needed to do something with it.

I didn’t want to sound insensitive, you know? so I didn’t say to him what I was thinking but in reality I was like ‘hold on mate: you just buried your mom and is already looking for a fuck and then expect me to feel sorry for you?

Happy Easter!

2009-04-09T15:21:00.000+01:00

Are you waiting for a hot bunny?

Mushroom guy

2009-04-04T10:18:00.000+01:00

When you think that you’ve seen them all something new just turns up to your door step. Welcome to my world as an escort!

Last night I had a client with such a weird cock, it was something more like a mushroom m rather than something you would eventually use to fuck.
He was fully aware of his unusual dysfunction and started to apologize in advanced, even before getting naked what I think was very kind of him.

Normally, if people pay you for a fuck, they are not that bothered if you will like their bodies or if they may scare you with some random bit.

I remember once going to work in a private party where the initial cash in hand was £250 and you would be there doing a few strips around sofas with 25 guys in a very big lounge. 6 escorts were there in case they need something else, maybe a massage or just a blowjob. Those extras would be charged on top of the £250 so with some luck it is possible to look after a couple of clients and leave after 3 hours with no less than £500.

I’ve done them twice only because they are very private and they rotate the boys a lot.
And there was the place I’ve seen the biggest variety of cocks. The winner was a Chinese guy that almost had both gender: he had a cock obviously but it was somehow with a vagina around it.
He didn’t pick me up so I never got to try it. (let me know if you want to know more about the London’s sex party scene)

When the mushroom guy as completely naked I could understand why he was so apologetic at first. It wasn’t that scare but very different. And because it had such a big had, like a funny umbrella on a very think stick, I was wondering how the hell I how fit it up to my arse in case he was active.

Fortunately he was very passive and apart from the trouble to try to suck it (in the end I kind of more liked than sucked because I could not fit his mushroom inside my mouth) we had such a great time.

Tomorrow I have an elderly guy to visit. He is a regular, re reads the blog sometimes and he finds it funny. I always worry about him because I am afraid one day he will die while having sex and it would be very embarrassing!

Sex G-20

2009-04-03T11:08:00.000+01:00

This week London is very very busy due that G-20 thing.
Yes, Obama was here, Michele was here, but that is not the most important thing because, sorry my French: I don’t give a shit about a meeting that costs nearly £19 million only to bring together people to talk talk talk talk.

I personally think that they should use that money to help people and then have a video conference. Why the hell can’t those people use Skype as everybody else?

However I have to say that it was good for business. I mean: sex business. I have a few American clients, a French one and even a guy from Austria. They were in London to work and needed to wind up a little at the end of the day.

Luckily they decided that I would be a suitable option and at the end of the G-20 I was quite glad that London hosted it, otherwise I never would have met such a bunch of lovely people.

Some may say ‘money doesn’t bring you glamour or good manners.
That is true.
But I the guys I had chance to meet for a massage and a few others therapeutically bits were just great.

They didn’t want to talk a lot about the event itself, I guess for security reasons, but they were very happy to try things, to ask if I was enjoying it and to know a bit about myself too. After all they were willing to have fun and those are the best clients an escort can have!

Sounds contradictory that people pay and don’t enjoy it however if you don’t let yourself go and be keen to have fun it is very likely that you will pay for sex and still not find sex any good.

Hot Apprentice

2009-04-02T10:17:00.000+01:00

I was watching TV last night for lack of clients.
And then I got to see The apprentice, one of those business reality shows.

The only thing that kept me looking at it was the beyond hot Philip Taylor.
All the contestants are very poor in quality and very often spend more than they should. Thanks God some of them are hot at least

Huge delay!

2009-04-01T10:18:00.001+01:00

Yesterday I got lost on my way to visit a client and it was just a mess.
By the time I managed to get to the right address the client was fuming and said it was very unprofessional.

I kind of agreed with him; however it would be so much easier to get to his door steps if his house had a proper postcode!

It was the first time we met and I guess it will be the last one as well.
Not because of my huge delay - even though British guys have that thing with the time as if the world was about to ends tomorrow and everything should be crucially on time, including a fuck!

It was more about the whole experience.
A cold guy in bed, with a penis very flop and it is very difficult any penetration if the guy is not hard enough.

I offered to fuck him instead.
He didn’t like the idea saying he was top only and the reason because he was so soft probably was related with the lack of chemistry between us.
I agreed with him for the second time.

As any business or relationship, no matter how hard you try, sometimes people just don’t hit off, don’t click. That is it!

He was not that bad looking, he didn’t stick, he didn’t do anything terrible wrong. He was just someone that didn’t click.
With some clients, especially the ones more desperate do jerk off and go, it is easier to get way with such a lack of compatibility.

However when you have to engage with the client to make him get a hard on and fuck once and for all, well, that is when you have to use a huge combination of patience + acting + physiology!

I give him 10 minutes extras as a bonus for the delay.
He didn’t say even thanks and once we finished I just let myself out, quietly.

The great revenge!

2009-03-21T07:41:00.000Z

Very often I have married guys hiring my services and more than half of them are actually married to a woman. Yes, even we are in 2009 people still work hard to keep appearances.

Although most of them can not accommodate for obvious reasons there are always those adventurous ones, the ones who, once their wife travel or leave for work and they get a day off, its time to have fun.

It is a bit of a hurry because they often think that any little noise can be their partner coming back a bit earlier than expected. So the sex is not as good as it is when you have time to enjoy it properly.

Once I had to hide under the bed because the bell rang and the guy had to see who was knocking the door. It turned out to be the mailman hahaha.

However every time I go to visit a new client I can avoid thinking of a gay joke very famous in Latin America (where people are madly passionate and terribly dramatic!).

They say that, once upon a time . . . a man came home just in time to find his lover in bed with another man (it wasn’t me, maybe another escort or someone stupid enough to make it for free). So, in a total rage, he dragged his lover down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise.

He then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next he picked up a hacksaw. The lover terrified, screamed:
- Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?

The man, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, said:
- Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire!

Tiny room, Black guy

2009-03-20T07:27:00.001Z

What a sunny day!. I am wondering if the summer arrived earlier or it is just one of those trick weeks and very soon some snow will be on my way? Those ones whom know London will remember that sometimes we have the four seasons in one day: sun, rain, cold, wind . . . everything.

Wish such a bright day I had to get my sunglasses out of the draw. It would be great if I had a client wanting a bit of fun in the garden (back garden, please. I don’t want to be arrested). Instead I had a black guy in a small studio flat. It was ok but because he didn’t have window and the place was really tiny (bed+toilet only and no other furniture) it was a little claustrophobic!

For a black guy he had quite a small cock because I always expect them to be massive. Lucky me! It was something around 7.5 inches, what its fine and he was a gentleman.

Difficult to tell his age. I didn’t ask and people with dark skin are so good in hiding their age. The skin is much better I guess, it is more likely to see a white person with wrinkles very earlier.

Ps.: Miss Ginger, I don’t get smelly ones often so I am still learning how to deal with them. If they come to my place I politely suggest them we could have a nice shower together and make sure to use all my shampoos and shower gel on him.

If I am going to their place sometimes they don’t like the idea because it will be an extra towel to look after and will also take a few minutes off their paid time. Most of time I can’t also just spray some perfume because they are married so it would be a big problem turn up at home smelling something nice if the stink the whole life hahahaha.

P.s2.: Maddie the money is no longer as good as it used to be. And still we have to put up with a few junkies.

Dildo thief

2009-03-19T08:04:00.000Z

- Kaio, have you got a dildo to bring it with you? I want one of those big black ones, like a pyramid.
- Sorry, I haven’t got anything with this sort of shape or size.
- Which one have you got then?
- A normal rubber penis, one of those 9 inches long, with lots of vein and probably modeled in some porn actor that won’t get a penny in copyrights for it.

The client, a middle aged Indian guy from East London laughed and said: bring it on.
So off I went.

To be honest I have a couple of other toys but for personal use. I don’t share dildos with clients, what is mine is mine and I have the one for work - which I always keep very clean and only use it with a condom.

It wasn’t one of most successful nights because the guy really wanted something monstrously big so an 9 inches very thick dildo (challenge enough for most of the average guys) was of a little thing for him.

- I will make sure I get a new big dildo for next time you come around. I had one, however I split from my partner and he took it with him. What a bastard! I bought it with my money.
If I had seen when he was steeling it, I would have stopped him. Well I can say steeling in this case, can I?
- Yes, I think so. Or maybe he just took it by mistake somehow.
- Mistake? Who walks away from a relationship taking also a big black dildo by mistake? I think he is a thief. A fucking dildo thief. Shame those things we never can report to the police.

Gay jokes in bed

2009-03-18T09:12:00.000Z

Hahaha.

This is the sort of joke a client told me last Friday in bed:

What's the difference between a fag and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull meat out of it!

This is kind of rude but the client was a sweet short guy from Barcelona, it was fun.

62 bets 19!

2009-03-17T07:49:00.001Z

There are days when I ask myself: what the hell am I still doing? It always happens when I turn up for an appointment and the client is very ugly, very smelly or both.

And then, before I spend hours thinking of quid the job and get myself a 5-9pm proper job with no cocks to deal with, the great clients come on my way – and I find out that I am actually very fortunate to get paid to do something that other people even pay for it.

Yesterday’s client was one of those sweetheart, with a big smile, a big heart and a big cock so it didn’t left any room to quid for anything else. He wasn’t that young however at the age of 62 he rocket in bed. I was indeed tired at the end of it and although he probably used the blue pill what matters is how good he performed.

I once had a 19 years old client claiming he wanted to have a sex experience a gay. He apparently had a girlfriend (one of those freak chicks waiting to fuck only after getting married) and he was very curious about lots of things.

Unfortunately he was very very bad when it came to sex. Crap!
Must be the very young age, the tension of being with another man, the discovering of paid sex or maybe all those things together.
So I was terribly surprised when a 62 years old guy bet a boy with a third of his age ; )

A boy with two penises

2009-03-12T18:40:00.003Z

Did you hear that? A baby boy underwent hours of complicated surgery after he was born with two penises.
He will hate his parents sooo much once he gets older!.

Fox News said: 'The child, known only as Artyom G, was born two weeks ago in Russia after a normal pregnancy in which doctors did not detect any problems'.

Of course not. Problem? Which problem?
Double penises should be no reason to go under the nice, especially if you are two weeks old and have other stupid people deciding things on your behalf. It should be a reason to celebrate!

He would be fucking happy with two willies and I will tell you why: it would bring he a lot of money! Think with me: books, TV deals, films (start from a candid documentary … and he would end up being a porn actor too I am quite sure).

If he turns up straight, it would be every women dream: double penetration with just a guy!
If he turns up gay the fun would be even endless!

People say ‘We just live once’. That is true.
We also only born once and we also only born with two penises once in a lifetime!
I would love to have a client with double cock once in a while.

I know: I am being greedy! AGAIN!

Sperm and the beauty industry

2009-03-07T11:24:00.001Z

‘Beauty industry: it sells products that don’t really work to people who don’t really need them at prices they can’t really afford’ (columnist Sam Leith, The Guardian, 05.03.09)

I found a newspaper supplement inside a Tube on my way to a client and although have no idea who the hell Sam Leigh is but I love him already. That is so true! I try to use as less as possible when it comes to cosmetics. It is good to have a nice shampoo, a good scrub cream and that’s it to be honest.

Needless to say that I also avoid perfume. I love them however it is not recommended for my work because I can’t leave any track of smell when dealing with most of my clients as they are married or are into a relationship – so getting home smelling Obsession, by Calvin Klein can be a big problem for them.

The only thing that really works and cost nothing is sperm.
Do laugh!!!. It is true.
Must be all those minerals and proteins that come with and it make a lot of sense if you image that sperm can generate a new life so why not would be able to work positively on your skin?

Usually I don’t have even to ask, as some guys like to blow their cocks on escorts faces anyway. However if I have a quite week with not so many clients I just ask one of them to come on my face. I try to pick and chose (clean, nice, tidy guys jump to the front of the queue).

It may doesn’t smell as nice as one of those fancy overpriced facial cream . . . but certainly it works and at a zero expense!.

Sex teacher?

2009-03-03T10:43:00.001Z

Great weekend!!!.
Sunny, just a couple of client however good ones and those ones reading this blog knows very well I am more after quality rather quantity.
Besides that, the high profile ones usually pay without trying to bargain price.

When I first started working as an escort I never thought I would have to negotiate fees for a blowjob or how much would an anal session cost. Also I didn’t plan to have a standard explanation about why it is more expensive to cum instead of just going there, fucking someone and leaving as soon as the client is happily satisfied. For someone wondering the answer is quite obvious: cuming at the beginning of the day can commit the whole work day ahead.
When you sell sex, you have to hold your own satisfaction.

Client 1 was a regular cure British guy. I keep asking myself why the hell someone that fit and handsome has to pay for sex. Then I remember he is married with a couple of kids and when you have this double life you just can’t go to a bar and pick up someone wherever you want. So people like that keep my business (and bum) going!

And then I had client 2, a completely new guy that just happened to be in London over the weekend and wanted some fun. Nice person with an amazing down to earth personality, even not a God in bed so I had to teach him some tricks. Some people completely forget that sex is not just about lying down in bed and let all the work for the other person (even if this other person happens to be paid to be there).

- Kaio, can I call you back when I come back to London?
- Sure you can, anytime! - I said putting my clothes back on.
- Great because I want to carry on the lessons.

When did I become a teacher? I haven’t got a clue!

Fisting?

2009-02-27T09:37:00.002Z

- Do you do fisting? – A client asked yesterday night?
- Even if I am the one wanting to be fisted?
- No.

He then rang the phone without even saying ‘thanks’.

I know, I know, I probably should be a little more open minded sometimes because one of the reasons of hiring an escort is exactly that: to be able to realize a few fantasies which your partner may would not be that pleased to get into.

However there are a few things that I find hard to do and shoving my hand (and arm) down in someone’s butt whole is not my idea of fun at all.

What is the point of such a painful sexual fetishe?

Mad farewell

2009-02-26T11:56:00.000Z

Hey Czechout, thanks for the question and yes, I read a lot and I also listen to lots of music because, as you may know, I use lots of public transport in London, sometimes it can take up to 1 hour to reach a client’s house so the best way to cope with so much time trapped inside buses and tubes is by reading and listening to music.

I am reading at moment a book called ‘The little friend’, by Donna Tart. It is quite nice.
I have a awful habit of reading several things at the same time, sort of: a magazine, a book, a newspaper, a bit of each on my journey, is a bit mad but it works for me.

Speaking about madness.... I had one of those Crazy clients last Monday.
They guy was pissed because he lost his job and he decided that a good farewell would be having an escort . . . at his work!

I didn’t know it until I get to the front door of the building and be shocked that it was a commercial place, with lots of offices. However I had those quick lunch times before where the client barely puts down his trousers and you are not supposed to get naked neither because at any time someone can turns up.

The guy said he would like to mess up the place as much as possible, just to start with!
- What do you mean?
- Lets fuck over there (point out a expensive leather sofa) and also lets cum on this table.
- What?
- Don’t worry. Lets give them a hard time!

He was visibly going mad.
People should think twice after leaving a job because one day you have to face those people again and it will be a problem if you messed so much on your way out.

I thought of saying something like that to him, only to get back to my real place. I am paid to give him pleasure, not advices!

We fucked everywhere. There was a moment that the phone rang and he just took it off the hook. I was imagining the other person at the other end of the phone trying to understand what the hell was going on, those noises, etc. I would love to call someone and instead of speaking to someone to have the phone put off the hook, on the table, while someone had fun.
When we finished, she thanked with a chick smile and said that he would keep in touch.

The picket people

2009-02-16T20:35:00.000Z

Guess who is coming to England? The picket people!
That small and noise religious community from Kansas notorious for picketing funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq will be in UK next week to protest.

Westboro Baptist Church is led by Rev Fred Phelps and among the events on the 'picket schedule' there is an activity in Basingstoke.

Hope they don't find about my blog or my job. I would be bad to have them with those picketing outise the hotels where I've got clients to attend.

The website is called www.godhatesfags.com. I much more prefer to read Perez Hilton.

Valentine's fuck!

2009-02-15T20:25:00.002Z

I am back after 1 week without writing a thing. I missed it as much as I miss sunny days and sex, I am serious!

No excuse for the absence.
Just an awful lot of things to sort out (every other day something breaks at my house: toaster, TV, shower) and those things can be a nightmare to fix.
Besides it is quite expensive to hire plumbers in London and as they are all straight polish guys barely speaking English it so hard to try to negotiate a deal and pay in services (read: sex) hahahahaa.

So yes, my bank account has gone down a bit.
It was the wrong combination: money going out with plumbers and no money coming in because I had to stay at the home until they finish the work and I don’t think it would be nice to have clients around either. What to say to the poor worker if a client rings the bell? Something like: I am going to have a quick fuck for cash while you fix my pipes and shower? Hummm better not.

However this weekend things started to get back to normal.
Mr. Gloucester called and we had a great couple of hours with wine and chocolates. It was his Valentine’s day threat and I liked it a lot.
It was the only client I had for the whole Saturday. I wonder where all the others gay single guys gone yesterday?

Dancing and farting!

2009-02-08T19:54:00.002Z

The snow has gone and the rain came back.

London’s weather always finds a way to piss of the people and yesterday I arrived soaked at a client’s house.

I don’t know of any other city where you can have all four seasons in the same day so I left home with a scarf and no umbrella only to find out 20 minutes later that actually a storm was coming on my way. Let’s rain!.

Luckily it was a regular client back in London so I didn’t have any major problem. It can be slightly embarrassing to see a client for the first time and get there looking like a wet duck that just came out from a swimming pool! My hair as looking shit. My clothes heavily wet. Even my shoes were fucked.

The good side of it is: sex warms you up so basically after the whole rain I was getting paid to keep warm. I used all the available towels to dry everything as much as I could (that is actually the good thing about attending clients in a hotel because you can use stuff and leave it to someone else take care of).

Mr. Toronto is so funny that he should be paid to make people laugh. Even in bed sometimes I can’t hold myself because he makes hilarious voices and squeaky noises.

Eventually he will even dance and farts, all together. And he is also audacious and try new positions.

As most of times I have to play by the book and always fuck at the same required positions it is a bit of fresh air someone that knows how to explore beyond the dog style.

Who wouldn’t love to have fun with someone that creative?

Wake up doll !

2009-02-07T20:02:00.001Z

Overheard inside a toilet in a straight bar last week:

- No, no. I am not gay. I am only top.

It came from a bulk guy with tight t-shirt having a pee and talking to his friend doing the same beside him. I was about to say: wake up doll!

Well I didn’t of course. But I should have done.

Gaydar sponsoring a short

2009-02-06T20:19:00.000Z

Gaydar shag website has sponsored a short film about modern relationships in the UK.

‘Academic’ is written and directed by award-winning James Martin Charlton, whose past subject matter has controversially ranged from William Blake and the Bible, to moral degeneracy and paedophilia.

as anything is just by chance in this world, the sponsorship of 'Academic' coincides with the new video profile features on the Gaydar website, which allow members to post clips of themselves as well as photos.

Gaydar.co.uk will exclusively stream the trailer in the run-up to the film festival season, with character profiles and video teasers.
This marks the first time profiles on Gaydar have been branded or use fictional characters that members can interact with.

Gay flag

2009-02-04T08:50:00.002Z

London has many problems, including heavy snow, increasing of violence over the past 5 years and a fucking credit crunch that already made around 150.000 people redundant. Despite all that the polemic yesterday was around a rainbow flag raised outside a Police station!.

Shocking!
New Scotland Yard Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson has ordered a gay pride flag hanging outside a police station to be removed and for the original Union flag to be reinstated.
Sir Paul, who was appointed last week to the top job in the London Metropolitan Police, was said to have been outraged when told that the gay emblem had been raised outside the station in Limehouse.
It replaced the Union flag and was put up by officers in recognition of Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Month celebrated in February.

I have clients working for the Police and I can say that London has the most tolerant people working at public services. I’ve been to other European cities and believe me they hate gays, especially those ones working within the police. So I was quite surprised for such a fuss towards a flag.

Yesterday I had a funny client asking me to take pictures of him with a snow man at his backyard. So after a quick fuck that last no more than 10 minutes I spent half a hour working as a 'photographer' hahaha even though I barelly now how to use a camera.

It would be just an innocent sweet picture if he wasn’t naked! It was great, even more because he used a black dildo to give a penis to the snowman. It was the first time I saw a snowman with a black cock. Actually it was the first time I saw a snowman with a cock at all!

I asked him for a picture of him with his creative snowman but unfortunately he refused saying his snowman was a shy boy!

Bad timer

2009-02-01T20:49:00.002Z

Another busy weekend with few clients in a row.
Overall it went fine, most of them end up going for the very basic suck-fuck-suck-cum as if all of them were part of a secret society where man should suck-fuck-suck-cum. It is a cake recipe!

The only surprise was Mr. Canada, a blonde short guy with quite a nice cock and attitude. He wanted to have some fun in the bath and it was great I have to say.

We finish in bed, of course because there is no place better than bed to have sex. I know a few people dying to fuck outdoors or any other place but a bedroom. I have nothing against it however I still fancy a nice comfortable set of white sheets, a couple of pillow and lots of creativity!

The only thing I didn’t like about Mr. Canada was his lack of timer. I made it clear I didn’t want him to cum while I was sucking him or neither on my face.

The bastard ended up splashing a lot of a thick cum all over my face and hair.

It is disgusting!.

There are a few things that don’t go well at all and I think that get covered in sperm when you still have a long day ahead it is just dirty. This is one of the things I have to put up with with a smile even I want o kill the guy!

He apologizes and said it wouldn’t happen again.
I had a shower and went off.

However I always have the feeling I missed some drops of cum in my hair or face when something like that happens and I have to get the public transport shortly afterwards.

It is just paranoia, I guess as I never had been stopped on the streets nor had a finger appointed to me saying ‘look that guy. He is covered in cum!’

Mr Canada certainly has another dysfunction besides the very bad timing with his own cock: he has an awful amount of cum for an average man! I wonder what the hell he eats or drink to produce it because it is quite funny!
Another client of mine is exactly the other way around: he makes such a big effort for get off a couple of drops of cum that I feel sorry about him. You can see his disappointment, a sort of frustration for being that dry but I am really fine with it.

Overnight

2009-01-28T13:10:00.000Z

Overnight with client, what is good because it is more money.

However it doesn’t mean charging for the whole period I stayed with him, also because even an overnight shift, of course nobody carry on fucking for 8, 9 ... 10 hours.

It was my third time with him and after a couple of 1h booking he said I should stay and made an offer, which I accepted.

Mr. Bromley is very good in bed because he likes to take his time and allow me to take my time too. Have said that, another highlight of him is his beautifully shaped cock.

He doesn’t have a perfect body and is very close to being overweight (credit to his favourite dish: mash and sausage) but hes penis is something that should be saved and framed for future generations because it is exactly as those we see in books.

As a sex worker I’ve seen all sort of cocks: small, thin, thick, enormous, bending towards left, bending towards right, shaved, hairy, good and disposable. I can guarantee you: Only few of them resemble the ones we imagine when we think of a cock, what is quite funny because even the common imaginary says how a penis should look like, well, in real life I tell you: it is pretty much different!

So to find a perfect one and get paid to ride it is quite an experience!

Bed talking

2009-01-27T13:05:00.002Z

- What was the biggest one you have to face and work with? – a client asked me another day referring to cocks.

I had to stop for a second and think about because I don’t keep measuring guys all the time.

- It was a guy from Australia, I think.
- How big was that?
- Hummmmm around 10 inches but I didn’t have to sit on it. The guy just liked to be sucked.
- And the one you actually took up the ass?
- I would say 8.5, maximum 9.
- Was that painful?
- No. As far as I can remember the most painful one was a guy with a very fat cock. I don’t think size maters so much. But if it is thick, it can be a hell!

Mr. Clapham laughed and we carried on fucking.

He likes to ask those sorts of things while having sex!.

For him it is a turn on.

I find it unusual and try to keep concentrated in all three of them: client, conversation and sex.

I know they so well.

2009-01-23T10:06:00.003Z

I don’t know why all the buzz around the confession by Portland's first openly gay mayor that he lied about having sex with a teenager.

Politicians lie all the time and did people really expect Sam Adams to be different just because of his sexual orientation? My ass!.

The fact that he prefers cock rather than pussy doesn’t means a lot.

I know very well this sort of people. I have clients exactly like him, going to the church at Sundays with wife and kids, defending family values on Monday, making a warm speech against prostitution on Tuesday and coming over on Wednesday for some sex.
Do I care? No. They pay.
Would I vote for them? No way.

The only disturbing thing about Sam Adams sex scandal is that he was having fun with an underage staff.
After being confronted about the relationship the politician insisted he did not have sex with the young man until after he turned 18, however this week he apologized for lying — and for asking the young man to lie — and left open the possibility that he could resign if doing so would be in the city's best interests.

Not judging but someone that is a 46 years old public person and thinks that he can be succeeded in a relationship with someone 30 years his junior, well, well, well . . . such immaturity is reason enough to resign and get a bit of time off to grow up!

I don’t think the gay community should stands for him just because he is gay. There are millions of others people that like dicks too, including myself.

I thought before taking one side. However yesterday when it came to light that the gay mayor also hired a reporter to work close to him (and it happened to be the reporter investigating the same case earlier), I just thought: there is no hope for this liar.

Would you give him a second chance?

Mr who?

2009-01-22T10:01:00.002Z

Client called yesterday and although he said we already made some business almost 1 year ago I just couldn’t recall him at all. That was a bad start but I didn’t say anything.

I know I don’t have to remember everyone who I already slept for free or for money but it is quite embarrassing when someone call you very happy and you have to pretend to know who the hell is that person as the name didn’t ring any bell at all.

So off I went to see him near central London trying to have a clue. It is so much easier when you know who you are going to meet so you can plan yourself, make a random selection of things that you know they will like and avoid other things which didn’t work so well previously.

Certainly he could not be that bad as I use to save the name of bad clients with a TW (time waste) at the end so once they ring I know that a piece of chit bothered to call me again. Could him be calling from a new and different number? The idea of meeting someone who I didn’t like to work with before made thinking of give it up and return even before getting to his house. but I am proud of sticking to my word and If I said that I was coming, I would have to show up at his door step (even if later I would have to make an excuse and walk away from his premises).

Luckily he was Mr. Ex-Hampstead with a new phone too. So It would be impossible to match the new address and the new phone if I didn’t have records of any of them. He didn’t mention anything (I guess he supposed I would recognize his voice of his name). What Mr. Ex-Hampstead doesn’t have an idea is how many phone calls I get a week, some of them from close clients and most of them from people I never heard of.

The good thing about Mr. Ex-Hampstead is that he smells terribly good and in bed it means a lot! It is not about the amount of perfume he uses and about using the right one because people match with different flagrancies and to find the right one can take the whole life.

The bad think about Mr. Ex-Hampstead is that he always asks me to suck him for almost the entire time so after 30 minutes doing it in a row my jaw usually hurts a bit.
He is very good giving oral too and has an amazing technique of how and where stick his tongue so I guess one thing sort of balance the other.

Obama effect

2009-01-20T08:40:00.001Z

Wow.
Finally Obama gets to the White House today! It seems a century since he got elected.
I hope he will be able to match such high expectations.

Mr. Claridges III cjust alled to postpone his appointment for tomorrow because he wants to watch the first black president of United States assume his post.
If anybody had any doubt about his popularity here we go: incoming president Barack Obama is hitting such new highs in public support that some people prefer to look at him rather than sex!
I had no choice but to re-schedule my client and wait the phone rings with another may not so interested in politics.

This is the third time I will get to see Mr. Claridges. I named him after a hotel where we use to meet if he is in London and although they have so much staff working there, I feel very welcome because they are very professional e don’t ask too many questions.

It is quite uncomfortable when I have to visit a client in a hotel and the receptionist want to know who I am going to see, who I am . . . and some of them look at me as if they could read the reason why I am visiting their guest – even I try hard not to look like a rent boy.

Must be the age difference that gives it away.
When you are 26 visiting a friend up to lets say 36 or 38 it is ok.
When you are instead visiting someone around 55 or 60, well, unless your parents are close friends to that person is very likely that you are going there for money. that is what people must think when they see me arriving at the reception desk and ask where is the room 1234.

So let’s celebrate Obama and, on my next trip to States I may visit the White House. Not for business, of course.

What were they thinking?

2009-01-19T08:49:00.000Z

In case you still had any doubt about why some people turn out to be gay, the answer may be . . . their toys and those amazing ads!

What the hell were their creators (both: toy and ad) thinking back then?

A cat on my way

2009-01-18T10:28:00.001Z

Mr. Vauxhall called yesterday.
That was very last minute request but there are people whom we are happy to see, even if the weather is a bit shit as London remains cold and wet!

I think the first time I ever saw Mr. Vauxhall was back in 2007 when I went to give him a massage and he actually just wanted a massage!. Excuse me? Massage? Sometimes I even forget that I know how to do it!

I remember feeling almost insulted for such a thing because 99,9% of times the massage is just a cheap excuse to get together in bed. So when he said I could keep my clothes on after paying me on arrival I thought: ‘he didn’t like me at all’.

However this IT guy turned out to be a very sweet client and I still visit him time to time.
I can not say he is a regular because he usually vanishes for a good couple of months. Then he comes back, book two weeks in a roll and again disappears for a while.

It is a typical behaviour of clients with partners living in separate houses. People say it is a modern concept to keep the flame of relationship and avoid the boring day to day life. Besides that, it is like having a boyfriend forever and keeping all the pressure of a marriage far way.

I think it is bushtit!
Maybe if people can’t bear waking up every day beside someone they love, well . . . they ought to not be together in the first place.
Also, London is fucking expensive and by keeping two different houses with no need you’ve got to cut back other things such as holiday and nights out. Don’t think it is a smart plan but I am happy he still keeps my number and gives me a call, even here and them.

On the way back I found a cat on the bridge and I really wanted to bring it home.
I mean: a real cat. Live. But where the hell could I keep it?
He was so soaked that I thought he may would die with hypothermia so I managed to get him out of the rain, wrapped him with my scarf and left him next to the tube station in a dry place.

I hope someone found him, liked him and took him and my scarf home.

Boy George sentenced

2009-01-17T09:34:00.003Z

Never too late!

I was reading this morning about the singer Boy George, who was sentenced to 15 months in jail on Friday after being convicted of falsely imprisoning a male escort by handcuffing him to a wall in a London apartment.

And you know what? I loved it. he deserved it so hardly!

Gratuitous violence should always be punished.
It was just appalling the excuse used for former Culture Club lawyer: BBC said that Boy George lawyer accused his client and the escort of being both behaved like "drug-crazed idiots" and that the singer substance abuse problems were a contributing factor. What a bastard! So because you are a fat drug addicted you can get away with everything Mr. Lawyer? Not really.

I had awful clients and every new one is a potential maniac until we get there and finish the job.
Although most of them are very nice people or at least just want a fuck and we are done, I had the abusive ones, the drunk ones, the con ones and the acrobats ones – they are the ones that think escorts are made of rubber and therefore they can stretch our bodies to the maximum and perform the whole Kama Sutra book within 60 minutes!. It is a hard call and after those ones I always wonder why the hell am I still doing it?

Thankfully, they are sour exceptions!

As per Boy George, the sentence should be leven onger and the escort should get a compensation in cash! People can be very sensitive in their pockets.

Bad and good ones

2009-01-16T09:02:00.002Z

At least London is not so cold this week. Last week I thought that I would turn up at my client’s houses with my ass frozen! I had to put so many layers of clothes on that I was taking almost five minutes extra to get naked for work.

I know it seems nothing but, for those ones paying by hour it means almost 10 per cent of their time. From the minute I arrive and the client opens the door and pay me in advanced I start counting, no matter if he wants only to talk, have a tea, discuss the weather, start with a slow foreplay, have a massage or get their dicks out and have it sucked straight away.

It is a job. And although I try to be as nice as possible . . . time is money.

Eventually we meet those clients whom we quite would like to extend our time with them and I am not talking about a paid overtime. But those ones are very rare and I do not surrender to my desires because at the end of the day, as I said, it is a business and I don’t get free coffee in Starbucks or get offered free burgers at Mac Donalds so there is no point of starting doing that.

And, of course, there are those ones whom we just want to finish and go – and when the time to stop, get dressed and run way comes they still complain that it was too short and I should stay a bit longer.

I am pretty much flexible in terms of negotiation as long I don’t feel someone is trying to get advantage of me. Lots of clients they genuinely think that they can as escorting doesn’t seems a proper job. Fortunately those are not the majority!

It used to be worst when I first stated but luckily recently my clients really want a good time, nothing more, what is great.

I think the weird ones are more and more using the internet to full fill their crazy fantasies – or maybe there are a new group of escorts on the block offering much more than I do and I am not aware of them.

Crunch and beer.

2009-01-14T21:36:00.001Z

Another very quite day.
Since Monday London had a few companies announcing more redundancies so while everyone seems be worrying if they will have a job or not this year, I have to wait if my phone will ring!.

Barclays Bank, just to name one, said today it planned to cut 2,100 jobs at its retail and commercial banking business.Even the tourists are less this year in London!

The only call I’ve got was from a 36 years old man claiming to be a student and demanding a discount fee, which I thanked but had to turn it down as I am not that desperate yet!

By the way: I was having a big laugh this afternoon while reading news about a Californian man who arranged to sell his 14 years old daughter for 100 cases of beer and got arrested after complaining to the police that his payment failed to appear!.

I hate drunk clients!!!.
They take a awful lot of time to cum, they smell bad, I can’t understand half of what they are saying because their English became a fucking pasta of words and they can be very heavy on top of you as they lose notion of their weight after fell beers and jump on you as someone riding a horse!

Who said I lead an easy life where the money comes even easier?

My mommy said I could

2009-01-13T10:32:00.000Z

Wood table

2009-01-13T09:37:00.002Z

Just got my first check up of the year done and all the tests came back negatives!
I have it every 3 months because even I use condom for everything we never know if they had a tiny little whole. Besides that sometimes I do blowjob without condom because the plastic taste (even on those flavoured condoms) is disgusting. So I have to check for all those diseases permanently, such as hepatitis, syphilis and HIV.

I am very impatient for wait! Must be a Latin thing because we are fast forward in everything I guess.
London has quite a few clinics where you can go and have all your tests free and quick. They are used to deal with people working into the sex industry so it is very good to walk in and talk about it openly.

They also provide packs of lube and condoms and for those ones hooked into injections to build muscle they also provide needles – what I find a bit weird because those body freaks looking for a large than life bodes inject themselves. I would find impossible to use a need. Even for blood test I don’t like to watch the blood going out of my body because I feel slightly dizzy. It may sound fucking absurd that I visit all kind of people, jump from bed to bed, get paid to have sex and . . . despite all that liberation and attitude, I still freak out with blood, with the same intensity as when I was 5 years old or so.

Great client yesterday for a hot sex on his old kitchen table!.

Just traditional style sex, without fancy movements or dangerous positions. Only sex for what has itself.

Sometimes, going back to basic can be very good if you have a strong wood table in your kitchen ; )

No Threesomes, thanks!

2009-01-12T10:27:00.003Z

Time to time I get other requests outside the traditional ‘fuck-and-go’ menu.
One of the most usual questions is if I have someone to bring with me.
The clients have this fantasy of having a couple of guys in bed and because threesomes is the sort of hot thing of the moment everyone wants to try at least once in a lifetime. I guess that I probably should have a worker partner by now.

Once I tried and I just hated it!
It is more difficult to control what happens in bed and to make sure that both sides are happy.
Two months later I found out that the escort I invited to visit my client for a three way sex actually was dating him!. What a son of a bitch!.

If there is a very bad move that an escort could do is that: betrayal. Because the clients always end up saying the true later or you find it through another escort anyway. London can be very small sometimes!
And if there is another very bad move that an escort can do is dating a client.
What the hell can you expect from someone which you first met paying for sex?
So I wasn’t any surprised when last December I heard that the same client dumped him after a few months of free sex. It is what happens very often.
The clients start to date the escort and promise a new whole world, which certainly includes giving up the work as a prostitute. Fair enough.

Of course the escort thinks that such a sweet client must be just the gold pot that everyone wants to find at the end of the rainbow and offers endless free fun!.
Eventually, after a few free meals and shopping, the generous guy stops being so generous.
He is not being mean at all. He just realises that is a fucking hard work to forget where he got his new boyfriend from at the first place or to pretend that he doesn’t bother about the fact that one day he will bump into someone that already fucked his partner for business! Welcome to the real world!

And then, one day they fall apart and guess who ends up literally fucked?
Absolutely right! The escort, obviously!

The rich boyfriend will carry on his life with his old friends, trips and previous life style. The escort probably will have very few friends to contact because when people upgrade their life from the streets to a better place, they are not that keen to keep in touch with those ones that may would remind then where they actually came from. It is unbelievable but people do not account that the fact you jumped up 1 step in life doesn’t mean that you may lose everything soon or later.

Work wise the damages are almost irreversible.
The prostitute will have to start from the point zero because few months out of the adult business means that all the clients had gone by now and got another escort to meet their needs!.

So there is no way I will get someone to share my clients again!.
And if one day Mr. Right comes on my way he will have to live with the fact that I won’t get rid of my friends because they work in bed.

I also have no plans of signing any pre-nuptial contract giving up all my rights. This is the sort of thing that only people not expecting to be together in a long term would be looking for.

Gaydar Gun

2009-01-11T10:30:00.000Z

Stay alive!

2009-01-10T10:00:00.004Z

Mistress Maddie done very well exemplifying how it looks like having sex with someone that a has pierce down there: it is so distracting for the tongue!!!!!.

There are very few things that make me distracted in bed and it includes people that speak big sentences while fucking!

First I thing that such elaborated grammatical constructions should be left to lawyers or Philosophy’s teachers (if they happen to be working, not exactly in bed).

Secondly - and this is very serious in my case: English is not my mother language and for those ones wondering the true Yes, sex requires a awful lot of concentration, especially if you are having it as a business, with someone that you may never saw before and is very unlikely to meet up again if they are tourists!

So if on top of all that I have to focus on translating big sentences or usual words I find it extremely difficult.

Last year I had a client from the countryside that I had almost to get hold of a dictionary!
The good thing is: because English is not my first language it also makes much easier to understand all the weird accents from people that also don’t have English as their first language.

I have clients from Asia and Cabo Verde, in Africa, whom always contact me if they are in London either for business or leisure because people don’t understand their English and they don’t understand a few people if they speak too fast!

So I guess this is another requirement to keep clients happy: being patient. Some of them even are not after sex in the first place. They want to talk, they need some tips about the city as they are from abroad, they are curious about my job – and eventually they get curious about other things too, including trying new things.

Tomorrow I am going back to see Mr. Oval, a sweet Irish guy in South London. He didn’t have the best of Christmas as he had a little stroke just before the festive season so I was a bit scared. He wasn’t in bed with me when he had it, thanks God! Apparently it was on the tube and people took him to the hospital.

I am not sure if people that just had a stroke can fuck, but he sent me a text message booking it and I am not a doctor or a specialist to say yes or no.
As long he stays alive at the end of our session everything will be fine!.

Pierced cock!

2009-01-09T22:30:00.001Z

Client from Essex with cock pierced.
I don’t know what the hell drives someone to mutilate their genitals with metal like that. I love my cock and I used it very well (for pleasure and for business) so I never would want it to be tattooed or hanging a pierce! It is too precious to do it.

Of course as soon as I saw his cock with a ring at the head I said straight away that anal would no be available for him. I could suck. I would be happy to fuck him. But my ass definitely would not be taking that thing.

He understood. Not the happiest of the clients, also because he said that his previous relationship started to falls apart since he went to Camden Town and got the shit pierce.
- Do you want to try? He asked.
- No, thanks?

Some clients say I am far too diva for someone that makes a living out of sex.
I don’t mind.

If they want to get those cheaper boys, some of them even offering DP or bareback, I don’t mind .
And I have to say: the vision of a cock with a metal trespassing it is quite scaring!!!

Bursting in to a laugh!

2009-01-06T22:18:00.004Z

I was with a client today and bursted in to a laugh. A big one!.
The TV was on and they were showing a program about people that are in love with objects and a woman got married to the Eifel Tower, in Paris!

I barely could take my eyes out of the damn TV because I never heard such a crazy thing.
Mr. Euston was also quite shocked and because none of us could turn out attention 100% for the sex it took him almost 1 hour to cum!

He is a very sweet guy that works from home so very often we have sex at times that people never do, such as middle of afternoon or 10.30am before a late breakfast.
I would find very distracting to work from home if I had a normal job, kind of 9-5 because I would be eating or checking the internet all the time.

I was wondering how that woman married to the French monument or the other one that loves a bridge or the one in a relationship with a guillotine find pleasure! I mean: you’ve got to make love, to have sex, even if you don’t do it for a living like I do.

When the program showed those people also collecting models of the object that they love in different sizes I couldn’t laugh less because this must be how they have fun. I bet you that, later in the night, the use the replicas as a large dildo – even the mad one engaged to a wood fence!

Lost socks

2009-01-05T22:36:00.000Z

So finally I’ve got back to work and just start the year in a bang!
A delicious client with a wide smile and nice hands. I think hands are very important. Before cocks and lips here come the hands and some guys unfortunately forget to make a better use of theirs.

I am not talk about fingering or fisting. Don’t get me wrong. It is about the touch, how guys can handle a situation so well that the sex became a way more productive.

So then I had this client, a guy that called few times before but it never happened. Good clients make me wonder why the hell they’ve got to pay for sex when I think they could easily get it for free somewhere else!.

I saw a picture of him with one of his brother and what a dam hot guy as well. Must be a family thing! It would be great to have both in bed but his brother is not gay – what a shame!
In the end I couldn’t find one of my sock, I have no idea where it went but who cares. I made my way back home with only one of them. Hahahaahaha

He was freaking out because he has a partner – and the partner doesn’t know he has occasional sex of escorts so it would be a big mess to let him finding one of my socks later in bed or around the bedroom. I think we spent about 20 minutes looking for the fucking sock and didn’t find it.

I hope, tonight when he decide to sleep, his partner doesn’t find it by accident and start a big fight.
How to make up something for such a weird situation?

Banned UK Levis ad

2009-01-02T09:57:00.000Z

Simple life

2009-01-01T16:52:00.000Z

Just got a few days off till next Monday.
It was good to be working in a row for a couple of weeks so I know I will be fine to keep away from paid sex for a little while. Don’t get me wrong. I love what I do and the money I get for that. However sometimes my work messes up with my day as I don’t have a set time to be working. It means sometimes the whole day waiting just to have a couple of clients calling at the end of the day for a last minute booking. If I knew the day would be that dead, I would be doing something else until the evening.

So I guess my short 3 or 4 days holidays are to sort out things that normal people take for granted and even don’t noticed talking care of: going to the supermarket, visiting a friend and spend a couple of hours talking about funny futile things, clean inside the freezer, reply a couple of e-mails not related to work, cook something a little more elaborated, baking a cake (yes I do it very well, thanks), going to the cinema and doing some shop window too. A very simple life!

Mr. Morden called me to wish Happy New Year yesterday and said that he is looking forward for the summer. He wants to try a new wood bench which he got for the back garden and we will have some fun with it.

Previously we had sex at the garden already, standing up. However because Mr. Morden is much taller than me, he was bending his back all the time and at the and said that it was hurting a bit. He is only 40’s and shouldn’t be complaining about a little pain at the back, but he does anyway.

Once a client wanted to get fucked at a exit stairs of his work at the end of the shift after everyone – including his manager – had gone. I loved it although we never went ahead because they started a refurbishment at the build beside it and unfortunately gone: everybody working at the building under construction could see people going up and down at the staircase so the client suspended the fun to avoid any embarrassment.
- I think we should go ahead with it anyway!
- No Kaio, too risky. I don’t want to find myself in a very awkward situation with lots of people staring at me taking up the ass.
- Well, I don’t think that your work colleagues would be hanging at next door because the building is shot for refurbishments . . .
- That is very true. However there are dozens of guys working there. Better not.
- Ok, that’s a shame because I would not mind to have than watching me. They are usually quite young eastern European builders as far as I know. What could be the wrong with that? If we luck, a couple of them would even want to join us . . .
- Tempting, but not.
I am still waiting for Mr. Morden. Hope I didn’t scare him with my straight forward ideas!.

Gay cartoon!

2009-01-01T16:23:00.000Z

How to keep clients

2008-12-29T00:09:00.003Z

I think I just decided to visit Mr. Brompton last Sunday because I know he is passive and easy going. Otherwise I don’t know what the hell I would have to come up with as an excuse as I can not let my regular clients down. With the new ones you can say that you’re already booked. To the rude ones you can just ignore than. However the ones that are always there (even when everybody else is fucking somewhere else) those are the ones to keep very happy indeed!
Besides my tiredness of getting fucked twice in a roll within just over 1 hour, it was so cold that was almost beyond belief!

So I was genuinely glad to arrive at the warm Mr. Brompton’s house, probably as much as per his heater as per his money.
- How was your day so far, Kaio? - He asked putting a condom on my dick with his tongue?
- Pretty quite – I answered pretending that I was about to fuck (ops, I mean: work) for the first time that day – well, I am sure it will start to get better right now.
- Really? – He asked barely speaking with his mouth already busy!.

That is another Golden Rule.

For the good clients an escort should never – ever!- sounds busy.

This goes against any other profession on the planet as far as I am aware, however when you fuck for money, less is more!

Doctors get respect by counting how many patients they take care of.

Advocates get famous by showing of how many cases they win monthly.

With sex workers, been on demanding and working too much means that the guy is far too used – and clients like to think that not many others guys went down the same escort that they fancy!

Does it sound a bit mad? Maybe is because it is!

I was happily exhausted after finishing with Mr. Brompton and getting inside a cab.
Once I got home I slept like a baby. Sex can be a great and relaxing thing to make you go to bed early!

Busy Sunday!

2008-12-28T22:45:00.000Z

A very productive Sunday and by that I mean: I fucked a lot!
It started pretty late as I didn’t leave my house until 1pm however once I’ve done with the first client, Mr. Johnson, a very clean cut guy from the countryside I just ran for the second one!

Even with all the closures and engineering works at the tube I managed to go from one to another in no more than half an hour - for London it is almost a record as the transports are very bad over the weekends.

I was very lucky I got the second guy in that order: second.
The first one was gentile and had an average cock so I didn’t have any problem at all with that. The challenge was the second one, a guy from Sweden with a very large cock and not that sweet in bed.
20 minutes of action and I already was almost asking him to stop and have his money back. I didn’t have to think about it twice as shortly after half an hour having sex he announced that he was about to cum!

Usually this point is when things get very difficult as people don’t have an exactly notion of speed when it comes to a cock going inside a butt whole – they just stick it there as it were meant to be there.

With the Swedish client wasn’t any different: he asked to change the position to dog style, jumped off the bed and grabbed me to the edge. I avoided even to speak because I didn’t want him to lose his concentration and delay the ending.

- I thought I was about to cum but actually not, sorry! – He said very happy for staying longer behind me.

I mentally counted till 5 to avoiding shout at him because at the end of the day nothing was wrong with him at all (a part from a monstrous penis which also wasn’t his fault).

It is probably the dream of many guys: to get fucked by a well endowed bloke and I think I would be taking it happier it I didn’t have sex less than 1 hour ago.

Besides the size to cope, the condom’s rubber kind of start to hurt when you use it too much – and doing what I do for a job I don’t have much option but fucking with protection, even it is very uncomfortable at times!

- More lube, please! – I asked trying to take a break. He just got a bottle of lube few inches away and put a bit more almost without taking his cock of my ass – what a son of bitch!

Eventually, as I saw that the time was running out and he wasn’t showing any signs of cumming, I had to take the lead, pushing him to bed and riding his cock as fast as I could.

This is a trick that always work but you have to know how to do it very quick otherwise between the changing of position the guy’s penis goes soft and them it would take another good 10 or 15 minutes to get it working back!

I am glad that all my efforts paid off. He not only was very pleased with the whole thing. He also gave me some tips (not usual in London) and offered to drive me back home.

I was burning so much that I barely could sit still inside the car!

And once I got back home thinking that my shift had finished the fucking mobile phone rang again with Mr. Brompton, a regular that I can always count on.

- Just this one and I call the day off! – I thought while taking a warm shower and getting read to work again.

It may sounds easy but believe me: you’ve got to be professional if you are putting up with this work.

Escorting definitely is not something for shivering flowers!.

Golden rule 25790

2008-12-27T19:57:00.005Z

Just came back from the sales as my phone was almost dead. Just a couple of freaks asking for services which I don’t provide (fisting and bareback, again!). so I thought: fuck it and lets take a day off – or what was still left of the day after I decided it, around lunchtime.

Sales in London have nothing to do with those famous January sales in New York. There are very small discounts, some of the shops put a big sign with 50% discount and when you check the price tag, the price is higher than two days before, so after the ‘discount’ you end up paying the same anyway!

I was at Zara’s Oxford Circus (they have quite a nice men area downstairs!) when I saw a client shopping a couple of metres away. I didn’t speak to him before making sure he was on his own and, as I always do. I let to him to make the first move.
This is a golden rule for those ones fucking for money. You are paid for that not to be friendly afterwards or became part of any client’s social life. Therefore, if I see any of them I just pretend they are a strange.
They appreciate it as, of course, it is much safer to have fun with discreet escorts rather than those loud ones.

The client was plain pale once he saw me near the fit room, even i wasn’t going to use it anyway (I think it wasn’t available as they were on sales and always shut the fitting room to avoid massive queues.

I turned my back at him at carried on checking out some shoes and jumpers.
A bit later I saw him upstairs with a tall lady and a couple of cute kids!. I knew he was married even I never asked if he had children.

The only thing I bought after 6 hours visiting the main shops in London were few T-shirts from Next and a pair of trousers from Debenhams!
At least once I got home and switched of the phone it started to ring again and I already have a appointment for tomorrow!

The city is a bit empty I guess everywhere due the festive season actually.
Even the gym was so empty I almost left before finishing my set of exercises (it is plain boring to go to the gym if the hottest guys were not there!)

Being GOOD

2008-12-25T11:55:00.004Z

Even yesterday on 24th I managed to work, what actually came as a surprise as I didn’t expect my phone to be ringing at all.

Usually near big holidays such as Christmas and New Year eve people prefer to stay with friends or have family coming over so unfortunately not a lot of clients have time for fun.
I’ve noticed also that some of them have a sort of ‘last minute guilty’ and decide to compensate the whole year on drugs, sex and rock and roll by visiting their local church and asking forgiveness for betraying husbands and wives, having sex outside the marriage, paying young guys for sex and all other variation of temptations which people fell through the year!. Not sure if it works but quite a few people believe so.

It was a guy in London for work over Christmas (bad for him, good for me!), so he felt a big lonely and called me to visit him in a hotel, a very nice place near Gloucester road.

They guy, an South African in his 40’s was an average bloke than you never would tell he was even slightly gay. Besides the fact he was quite difficult to negotiate fees and thought he was working, I must say it was a great time.

It is not easy when we have this sort of clients, always willing to pay less or have a second hour for free. They find unbelievable hard to understand that some people sell oranges, others sell houses or cakes. I sell time. And if this time happens to come with some free sex, better for both of us.

- What about 3 hours and I pay 1 and a half?
- No. If you go for 3 hours I would be happy to extend 30min.
- So 1 hour and you stay 1 and a half?
- No. If you just want 1 hour, it will be 1 hour, I am afraid.
- But you just said you would give me 30min for free!
- Yes, if you go for 3 hours.
- If I pay 4 hours can you stay overnight?

Obviously not, also because the day after was Christmas and I had no plans of waking up in a hotel room with a stranger and with no tubes, bus, trains or any other transportation to get back home. In London the whole city shuts down on Christmas Eve only to return to its normal activities on Boxing Day!!!.

At the end he decided to have a couple of hours and I went to visit him.
As he was very sweet and good in bed – and I honestly didn’t expect my phone to ring again - I extended a little bit my time with him with no extra charge so he got more 45 minutes chatting and fucking for free.

I normally don’t do it, even if it was George Clooney or Gary Barlow. But it is Christmas so we’ve got to be a bit flexible and generous with others, don you think so?

Happy Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-24T12:09:00.001Z

Hi, just to wish you all a very nice Christmas with lots of happiness!

Quick answer from previous comments left here: the black and white picture of the 3 guys was shot by Joao Arraes, a sexy and creative Brazilian photographer.

The 3 guys are Brazilian too and although I don’t know any of them – even the photographer – I just thought it was too good not to share with everybody else. So literally I ‘ve stolen it from his Flickr photobook.

The original can be found at:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/joaoisbossy/sets/72157604056487834/